The h2g2 Post Christmas Poetry Competition

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Here are all the entries, in the POST Christmas Poetry Competition.

The competition is now closed.

Now is the time for all researchers to unite and vote on which of the below poems is their favourite. The standard of poetry was incredible, and I know you are going to find it hard to find one that stands out amongst the rest.

Please read all the poems and then when you have decided, send an e-mail to me, Greebo T. Cat.

Please include your researcher name, your researcher number and the letter beside the title of the poem of your choice. I.E. if you like Last Year by Dr Wonky Mungbean, then just write that you like poem A .

You have until next weekend to get your votes to me, please don't vote for your own poem, if you have written one.

If the voting is tied then The Editor of The Post, Shazz, will have the deciding vote.
The winner will be announced in the next issue of the POST

Good luck to you all

Last Year (A)

by Dr Wonky Mungbean

Last year, I got in my stocking

A satsuma and a chocolate.

Nothing shocking.

smiley - hollysmiley - holly

We sat around the Christmas tree (B)

by Sad, Mad, or Bad researcher

We sat around the Christmas tree,

Laughing until we had to pee,

For 'though it was Christmas day,

Once again we had got carried away!

Yes, Tommy had emptied his Christmas sock

All on the knees of Uncle Buck,

But if that wasn't already bad,

He'd stolen the pudding, naughty lad!

And so we all sat and laughed,

And kept our eyes out fore and aft,

For Tommy he still lingered 'round,

And our presents nowhere to be found!

smiley - hollysmiley - holly

Nice Christmas (C)

by The Pink Dandelion

Christmas comes but once a year, which frankly is enough,

The turkey, sprouts and gravy mean jack s**t when you are sleeping rough,

As Christmas day approaches, and the weather starts to pinch,

You can't condemn the homeless man for acting like the grinch.

I clutter up shop doorways, my skin and hair's a mess,

The only decent meal I get is weekly at St James the Less,

Where fleetingly I'm noticed and my basic needs are met,

Then back out to reality, degraded, cold and wet.

Christmas is coming and the city boys grow fat,

But no part of their bonus finds its way into my proffered hat,

A cup of tea, at 90p, would keep me warm inside,

But not a lot is all I got, loose change and tarnished pride.

When your view is Jimmy Choo, as posh birds totter by,

You can't escape the feeling that they want you to curl up and die,

I sit and sing by Liberty until I'm moved along,

They act like I'm invisible, no supper for my song.

I'm dreaming of a nice Christmas,

Just like the ones I used to know,

Till my Dad deserts us,

And Mum's bloke hurts us,

And kicks me out, helpless, and alone.

I'm dreaming of a nice Christmas,

Without the hunger and the lice,

When you see me next time, think twice,

And pray all your Christmases stay nice.

smiley - hollysmiley - holly

Christmas Afternoon (D)

by Positive Feedback

Spent paper strewn, a gaudy snake's skin shed

Beneath the branches of a plastic tree

This tatter was a bell; that scrap of red

A robin's breast ripped wide in infant glee.

Boxes agape like fledglings' open beaks,

Their erstwhile contents spewed across the floor;

The presents they kept clandestine for weeks

Soon lie forgotten in a dusty drawer.

The tablecloth, white as the winter snows

Bears scars of this and holidays gone by:

Here gravy, there red wine. That? No-one knows.

Between half-emptied plates, pulled crackers lie.

The adults doze, the children play next door

On Christmas afternoon, at half past four.

smiley - hollysmiley - holly

Christmas is Coming (E)

by Global Village Idiot

Christmas is coming,

The Goose is getting fat.

So is Auntie Emily,

But best not mention that!

Christmas is coming

So let's all pull a cracker

Get Jo below the mistletoe

And give her a wet smacker!

Christmas is coming,

And Desmond's on the booze

He drained the cup then puked it up

In Bernie's new suede shoes!

Christmas is coming,

The nights are getting murky

It's stuffing and tinned ham for us -

The cat got at the turkey!

Christmas is coming,

The pleasure and the pain,

But all too soon it's Boxing Day

Then back to work again!

smiley - hollysmiley - holly

Christmas Morn' (F)

by Sho

It's Christmas morn', it's Christmas morn'.

Ring the bells, for Chirst is born.

Hear the happy children sing,

Hear the big old church bells ring.

See the shepherds hurry by,

Hear the very merry cry:

"It's Christmas morn', it's Christmas morn'

Ring the bells for Christ is born!"

See wise men on their camels go,

Myrrh, frankincense and gold they show.

Yes it's a happy Christmas morn',

Rejoice, for Christ our saviour's born.

smiley - hollysmiley - holly

Chrimbo poem (G)

by Munchkin

It's coming fast, we're all agreed.

That time of year when all must feed,

Their little faces, chubby and round,

And Grandad slipping you a pound.

You seek them here, you seek them there,

You've even looked under Grandma's chair.

Can you find where those toys do lurk.

No, dad's hidden them, what a burk!

Dads watched it again, The Great Escape.

Dads had his dinner, a huge heaped plate.

Dads drank the whisky, woke up like Colombo.

He looks right terrible after every Chrimbo.

Christmas is great, when there's kids around,

Watch them play, throwing wrapping around.

But it's never the same, when all grown-up,

Come back Santa, let's make it up.

Christmas is the time when the site tries to meet.

We went bowling, Mark was the man to beat.

We went to a pub, that served fried hog

We drank lots of beer, and some had a snog.

The Christmas jumpers, all bright and glowy.

The Christmas Turkey, overdone and chewy.

Without these things, the day would be wrong.

Christmas is coming, but I'll never get that bong.

smiley - hollysmiley - holly

I Can't Sleep (H)

by Greebo T. Cat

I can't sleep, the time goes slow

I watch the clock, it's neon glow

It seems ages since I came to rest

Long after the sun had set in the west

Come on, come on, why so slow

Till morning there's a long while to go

Why out of all the nights in a year

Does this one seem to never disapear

Turning this way and that, uncomfortable bed

I close my eyes, by morning they'll be red

Wishing for sleep, so tomorrow comes quick

The pillows so hard it feels like a brick

I count sheep, to no avail

I can see them so clear, as they wiggle their tail

But still sleep evades me, I'm not even dozy

Even if I snuggle right down, and get real cozy

A birds song, what a strange sound

I open my eyes and look around

Whats that pile of wrapped parcels over there?

Yipee, they are my presents, Christmas Day is here...

smiley - hollysmiley - holly

Greebo T. Cat

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