The h2g2 Post Christmas Poetry Competition
Created | Updated Jun 22, 2003
CHRISTMAS POEMS
Here are all the entries, in the POST Christmas Poetry Competition.
The competition is now closed.
Now is the time for all researchers to unite and vote on which of the below poems is their favourite. The standard of poetry was incredible, and I know you are going to find it hard to find one that stands out amongst the rest.
Please read all the poems and then when you have decided, send an e-mail to me, Greebo T. Cat.
Please include your researcher name, your researcher number and the letter beside the title of the poem of your choice. I.E. if you like Last Year by Dr Wonky Mungbean, then just write that you like poem A .
You have until next weekend to get your votes to me, please don't vote for your own poem, if you have written one.
If the voting is tied then The Editor of The Post, Shazz, will have the deciding vote.
The winner will be announced in the next issue of the POST
Good luck to you all
Last Year (A)
by Dr Wonky Mungbean
Last year, I got in my stocking
A satsuma and a chocolate.
Nothing shocking.
We sat around the Christmas tree (B)
by Sad, Mad, or Bad researcher
We sat around the Christmas tree,
Laughing until we had to pee,
For 'though it was Christmas day,
Once again we had got carried away!
Yes, Tommy had emptied his Christmas sock
All on the knees of Uncle Buck,
But if that wasn't already bad,
He'd stolen the pudding, naughty lad!
And so we all sat and laughed,
And kept our eyes out fore and aft,
For Tommy he still lingered 'round,
And our presents nowhere to be found!
Nice Christmas (C)
by The Pink Dandelion
Christmas comes but once a year, which frankly is enough,
The turkey, sprouts and gravy mean jack s**t when you are sleeping rough,
As Christmas day approaches, and the weather starts to pinch,
You can't condemn the homeless man for acting like the grinch.
I clutter up shop doorways, my skin and hair's a mess,
The only decent meal I get is weekly at St James the Less,
Where fleetingly I'm noticed and my basic needs are met,
Then back out to reality, degraded, cold and wet.
Christmas is coming and the city boys grow fat,
But no part of their bonus finds its way into my proffered hat,
A cup of tea, at 90p, would keep me warm inside,
But not a lot is all I got, loose change and tarnished pride.
When your view is Jimmy Choo, as posh birds totter by,
You can't escape the feeling that they want you to curl up and die,
I sit and sing by Liberty until I'm moved along,
They act like I'm invisible, no supper for my song.
I'm dreaming of a nice Christmas,
Just like the ones I used to know,
Till my Dad deserts us,
And Mum's bloke hurts us,
And kicks me out, helpless, and alone.
I'm dreaming of a nice Christmas,
Without the hunger and the lice,
When you see me next time, think twice,
And pray all your Christmases stay nice.
Christmas Afternoon (D)
by Positive Feedback
Spent paper strewn, a gaudy snake's skin shed
Beneath the branches of a plastic tree
This tatter was a bell; that scrap of red
A robin's breast ripped wide in infant glee.
Boxes agape like fledglings' open beaks,
Their erstwhile contents spewed across the floor;
The presents they kept clandestine for weeks
Soon lie forgotten in a dusty drawer.
The tablecloth, white as the winter snows
Bears scars of this and holidays gone by:
Here gravy, there red wine. That? No-one knows.
Between half-emptied plates, pulled crackers lie.
The adults doze, the children play next door
On Christmas afternoon, at half past four.
Christmas is Coming (E)
by Global Village Idiot
Christmas is coming,
The Goose is getting fat.
So is Auntie Emily,
But best not mention that!
Christmas is coming
So let's all pull a cracker
Get Jo below the mistletoe
And give her a wet smacker!
Christmas is coming,
And Desmond's on the booze
He drained the cup then puked it up
In Bernie's new suede shoes!
Christmas is coming,
The nights are getting murky
It's stuffing and tinned ham for us -
The cat got at the turkey!
Christmas is coming,
The pleasure and the pain,
But all too soon it's Boxing Day
Then back to work again!
Christmas Morn' (F)
by Sho
It's Christmas morn', it's Christmas morn'.
Ring the bells, for Chirst is born.
Hear the happy children sing,
Hear the big old church bells ring.
See the shepherds hurry by,
Hear the very merry cry:
"It's Christmas morn', it's Christmas morn'
Ring the bells for Christ is born!"
See wise men on their camels go,
Myrrh, frankincense and gold they show.
Yes it's a happy Christmas morn',
Rejoice, for Christ our saviour's born.
Chrimbo poem (G)
by Munchkin
It's coming fast, we're all agreed.
That time of year when all must feed,
Their little faces, chubby and round,
And Grandad slipping you a pound.
You seek them here, you seek them there,
You've even looked under Grandma's chair.
Can you find where those toys do lurk.
No, dad's hidden them, what a burk!
Dads watched it again, The Great Escape.
Dads had his dinner, a huge heaped plate.
Dads drank the whisky, woke up like Colombo.
He looks right terrible after every Chrimbo.
Christmas is great, when there's kids around,
Watch them play, throwing wrapping around.
But it's never the same, when all grown-up,
Come back Santa, let's make it up.
Christmas is the time when the site tries to meet.
We went bowling, Mark was the man to beat.
We went to a pub, that served fried hog
We drank lots of beer, and some had a snog.
The Christmas jumpers, all bright and glowy.
The Christmas Turkey, overdone and chewy.
Without these things, the day would be wrong.
Christmas is coming, but I'll never get that bong.
I Can't Sleep (H)
by Greebo T. Cat
I can't sleep, the time goes slow
I watch the clock, it's neon glow
It seems ages since I came to rest
Long after the sun had set in the west
Come on, come on, why so slow
Till morning there's a long while to go
Why out of all the nights in a year
Does this one seem to never disapear
Turning this way and that, uncomfortable bed
I close my eyes, by morning they'll be red
Wishing for sleep, so tomorrow comes quick
The pillows so hard it feels like a brick
I count sheep, to no avail
I can see them so clear, as they wiggle their tail
But still sleep evades me, I'm not even dozy
Even if I snuggle right down, and get real cozy
A birds song, what a strange sound
I open my eyes and look around
Whats that pile of wrapped parcels over there?
Yipee, they are my presents, Christmas Day is here...
SEND YOUR VOTES TO
Greebo T. Cat