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Click on the link for a discussion of the limerick.

There was a young lady from Ryde,

Who ate some green apples and died.

The apples fermented

Inside the lamented

Making cider inside 'er inside.

A tutor who tooted the flute

Used to tutor two tooters to toot.

Said the two to the tutor,

"Is it easier to toot, or

To tutor two tooters to toot?"

A canner exceedingly canny,

One morning remarked to his granny,

"A canner can can

Anything that he can,

But a canner can't can a can, can 'e?"

What a marvellous bird is the pelican

His beak can hold more than his belly can

He can hold in his beak

Enough food for a week

I'll be damned if I know how the hell he can

There was an Arabian Sheikh,

Who did enter his harem and speak.

'A loud cry I heard,

And in here it occurred -

Are my fifty-two children awake?'

There was an old man from Dundee

Who wanted to do a wee.

He lifted his kilt,

But the wind made him tilt,

And he piddled all over his knee.

Attributed limericks

by Peter Sellers:
A vice rather foul and unsavoury,

Held a vicar called Lavery in slavery;

And with lecherous howls

He would bugger young owls

Which he kept in an underground aviary.
by Spike Milligan:
There was a young lady from Tottenham

Who'd no manners, or else she'd forgotten 'em

At tea at the vicar's

She ripped off her knickers

Because, she said, she felt 'ot in 'em

There once was an old man called Gandhi,

Who went into a bar for a shandy

With his great loincloth

He wiped off the froth,

And the barman said "Blimey, that's handy!"
by W. S. Gilbert*:

There was an old man of St Bees

Who was stung on the nose by a wasp.

When asked, 'Does it hurt?'

He said. 'No, not at all,

But I'm jolly glad it wasn't a hornet.'

Limericks as mnemonics

A mosquito was heard to complain

A chemist has poisoned my brain

The cause of his sorrow

was para-Di-chloro


Without whom...

Thanks to Philbo Baggins, Zaphod Beeblebricks

Comedy: The Movie

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