This is one of the most simple drinking games that this researcher has encountered. What's more, it involves far less of the ritual humiliation that is typically involved with drinking games. Any number of people can play, and it doesn't discriminate between the sexes. It can be played in any setting, be it a pub with a well-stocked jukebox or your best mate's house party. And it takes a very short (and exact) amount of time to play, so players need not worry about getting bogged down in a 4-hour booze marathon.

Things Needed To Play The 'Roxanne' Drinking Game

• A number of willing players.
• Enough chairs or floor space for each player to be able to sit down.
• A copious amount of alcohol, measured equally between these players.
• Access to a jukebox or stereo system.
• A copy of The Police's song Roxanne, or the precise amount of change required to play said tune on the aforementioned jukebox.

Rules of the Game

There are a couple of minor variations to the theory of this game, but the most common and straightforward of these is what shall be henceforth be referred to the Every Man For Themselves version.

1. Upon commencing this version of the game, the song shall be played. Players must have a similar volume of alcohol each, for fairness' sake, or handicaps can be imposed for advanced players.
2. The players shall listen to the song carefully, since every time Sting says either of the key phrases 'Roxanne' or 'Put on the red light', the players shall stand and take a sip of their drink before sitting down again. The person who has the most alcohol left at the end of the song has to perform some sort of forfeit, most commonly to get the next round of drinks in.
3. Anyone seen to miss a sip at the utterance of the key phrases is, frankly, a bit silly, but a minor forfeit can be imposed, if the others playing so desire. Anyone drinking continuously in order to finish first has to buy a round for contravening the spirit of the game.

The other version of this game is more sociable, it being the Team version. In this variant, the players are divided into two groups. The song is played as before, but this time, one team has to stand up and sup their drink only at the mention of 'Roxanne', the other only when 'Put on the red light' is uttered. Which team gets which key phrase shall be decided by the ceremonial tossing of a coin. The team with the most alcohol remaining at the end of the song shall be judged to be the losing side, and has to buy the other team a round. The same penalties as mentioned in the Every Man for Themselves version for missing sips or continuous drinking apply.

Tips and Observations

Playing the Team version with inequal groups of players does not really matter, as the judgement of 'who has most left' is fairly arbitrary anyway.

Should players of either version inadverdently find themselves indisposed through 'stomach evacuation' or unconsciousness, they should not be penalised, unless the other players are particularly sadistic. If this indisposition should occur in a Team game, then it can become an 'Iron Man' contest for the side that finds itself a body down, should it be deemed that this team needs to finish their fallen comrade's drink as well as their own.

In the Team game, much mindless hilarity can ensue from having team-members in alternating seats in a ring, so that as soon as one person has slumped back down into their chair, their neighbours have launched themselves to their feet, and so forth.