Collaborative Efforts

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Welcome to the third installment of Collaborative Efforts, where you can learn about a wonderful article that needs your help. And the best thing about the whole arrangement is, you don't even have to come up with an idea. The idea has already been conceived by another researcher, and you simply have to come up with a bit of material to help it get past the messy afterbirth phase.

This week's conception comes to us courtesy of Peregrin ACE. Peregrin is compiling a collection of modern day mythological creatures at Pixies, Gnomes, and Gremlins. The list is not racist, and therefore allows entrance to whatever ghouls, demons, vampires, and whatnot that can apply for membership and justify themselves with two solid references and a credit report.

As always, I have selected a sample; a description of a curious breed called Lamppost Elves. This is a British phenomenon, I would be interested in any feedback from other cultures regarding similar incidents.

Have you noticed the little oval doorways at the bottom of street lighting lampposts? About a foot and a half high. These are doorways for the common-or-garden Lamppost Elf. They are a shy species, and are very rarely seen. They do not usually cause any problems for anybody, but occasionally they get in a bad mood and start playing pranks. This usually takes on the form of waiting until you are underneath the lamppost at night, then suddenly turning the light off. It is intended to freak you out, but there's never anything to worry about. They are not by any means a bad species; they are very helpful to humans. It is they who turn the lights on in the evening and turn them off again at dawn.

The doors themselves open to tunnels leading underground, which link up with the main sewer systems. Driven from the surface by the overpopulation of humans, the Elves live down there nowadays. It is always appreciated by this kindly and gentle race if you leave a small gift of chocolate or sugar outside the lamppost doors, which makes the rats they eat a whole lot nicer. The Lamppost Elves also have a inexplicable fondness for chicken vindaloo!

Those interested in having their works advertised in this column may contact me on my homepage. Those interested in hiring me to strip at their bachelorette parties may continue to contact me in the usual way. ;-)


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