h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Ageless elven queen seeks the prince of her dreams...

Must be immortal, knowledgeable in magic, animal-loving etcetera, in short - an elf!

Will a hobbit do?

*lookd down to see where the voice is coming from*

Oh - hi!

A hobbit? But you are so - short! Sorry - no offence intended..

...hmmmmm *gnaws lip thoughtfully* - know any magic?

*stands up*

Well actually I must be a giant hobbit, I'm 6 feet tall.

Hmm... magic? I can levitate, if that counts.

*floats up in air*

Oh and I know a cool spell which turns loaves of bread into rocks.

...and in what kind of situtaion would you use that spell? *curious*

Um... well... if I knew somebody who could turn rocks into loaves, then I could work with them if we had an excess amount of bread, to store them without them going stale.

Or... if I was being attacked by somebody and I had an industrial grade catapult and a loaf of bread, I could turn it into a rock and use it as ammo.

OK... I admit it... *sob* ... the spell is meant to turn rocks into loaves, but I just can't get the darn thing right!

Just as well you didn't try gold and iron, really... but at least you can make a nice rockery...

Will a dark elf do?

*remembers that the reason she stopped dating hobbits - so eager to try that magic, but not quite getting it right, and guess who was usually left setting everything back to normal again?*

Dark elf? Don't know much about them - we don't seem to move in the same circles... *intrigued by the image of a tall, dark stranger*

*add forbidding as well, and somehow it starts to sound familiar* Now where did I see a person like that?

Me troll. Me know to stay klear oof maggick. Lov annimalls too - make good snack.

That's not the kind of animal-loving I'm looking for!

*aims stern look and frown in jojon's direction*

I'm not forbidding! It's entirely a co-incidence that every time I speak thunder rolls menacingly in the background...

*thunder rolls menacingly in the background*

...must have been thinking of somebody else - but Lucinda sound female?

sounds can be deceptive - I'm male.

Male? And elvish? Ohhh... *breathless*

But unfortunately - no wings. Perhaps I should go down to one of those fancy dress places and get some of those strap-on wings for effect?

No need for wings if you know magic

...and mine are more guardian angel style than elvish...

Huh?

i should be taking notes here
then again...
as long as youve got your elf etc etc
(bad joke, shot me now)
*s*

Hallooo... anyone else back yet?

Well, kind of - though I had to switch researcher numbers, sadly...

*seeks in vain for an appropriate 'elf' pun*