h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

http://www.h2g2.com/A466445

Here's my entry for the King of Pop which I'm re-submitting as it's now re-jigged and I'd previously submitted it along with another entry (naughty - slapped wrist!).

This is an excellent article.

You need to reword the section "Somewhere in the middle" slightly. The first paragraph contains the word "weird" three times. This looks bad. Phrase it slightly differently. I didn't quite understand the last sentence, about two failed marriages. Perhaps, split this sentence up into two or three sentences.

Hi,
A great entry about (IMHO) the creepiest wierdo in pop. I thought you'd written it well, though I agree with Gnomon. I wonder about the joke about the child abuse though - would it get binned at sub-editing?

It might be worth mentioning the Plastic One's pet chimpanzee Bubbles, and the fairground he has built at his home.



- Adam

Muchos gracias - have amended the entry accordingly and ok, ok, I've taken out the joke;

How do we know he's guilty?
Several children have fingered him.

Just in case you missed it the first time round

How about a few more interesting Wacko Jacko facts:
- his 1987 Bad video featured Wesley Snipes as a bad-ass rival gangleader.
- his 1983 Thriller song had a creepy voiceover was done by horror specialist Vincent Price.
- his 1997 "Blood on the Dancefloor" album sold very badly, unlike the frenzy that accompanied Thriller and Bad.
- I believe "Thriller" is no longer the best selling album of all time, an accolade I think now held by that classic ... "The Bodyguard" soundtrack album. You may have intended your dialogue to reflect this but it doesn't and it doesn't read correctly either. The addition of "one of" would solve this.
- Joe Jackson who had a 1984 hit with "Stepping Out" is no relation to him. However Latoya and Janet plus the other members of the Jackson 5 were.

Hope these interesting facts help

ThankyouThankyou

I have mentioned the other siblings, Vincent Price and have amended the desciption of Thriller to read 'one of the...'

However, I refuse to state that record sales of 4 million in the US alone are in any way 'bad'. Sure, they are in comparison to previous album sales, but hey...

Also haven't mentioned Wesley - brevity really, it's starting to get a little long already!

Okay, I think it's a good entry. I don't much like Michael Jackson or his music, but now I can understand why some people do.

This is an excellent article well written and covers informative facts about the star.

By the way in the title 'Somewhere in the middle' you have missed the 'e' out of somewhere.

I know I'm being a pedant, but the opening footnote suggests something like "La Toya, Randy & Janet make up the remainder of the NINE Jackson siblings". This is placed alongside the names of the Jackson FIVE.

Now Maths was never my strong point but ... 5+3 = 9 , I think not.

Where is the missing brother/sister?

Pedancy aside - it's still a damn fine article.

Indeed. The missing brother/sister is Rebbie - now added.

I just read this entry for the first time and it is very well polished thanks to the tips from previous readers.
An excellent article.
Well done!

Great article! I know you're thinking that it's quite long enough already, but I can't help feeling that it could use a bit of the quirky pop star's PR disasters. You tell us he is weird, but you don't tell us how so. Could I coax a few anecdotes out of you? The incident where his hair caught fire in the Pepsi commercial shoot? The trip to Africa where he was roasted in the media for wearing the medical face mask? The pedophilia charges? The rediculous marriage to Lisa Marie Presley?

I think the article can stand fine on its own right now, but I think a couple of these incidents will go a long way towards establishing what type of person he is. Just calling him "weird," in my opinion, just doesn't do enough for it.

All right, all right - I've included a couple of his eccentricities and the incident at the 1996 Brit Awards with Jarvis Cocker.

Just noticed that you've included Jacko's date of birth in the heading, at least I assume that's what it is. I think you'll find it's actually 29/8/58 in Gary, Indiana. He's a Virgo, not a Leo which begins to explain his perfectionist qualities, his health-conscious paranoia and why he took so long to get married (and possibly even lose his virginity). Incidentally I think you'll find this is the same date (or within a day of) Lenny Henry - the comedian.

I think the paragraph will do the trick... it gives us enough insight into "Wacko Jacko" without overburdening us.

Ahh, the wisdom of astrology. Nothing could be more accurate. Of course, I'm also a virgo, and my qualities are clearly described here... I'm a perfectionist (well, "slob" is the term most often used) who obsesses about his health (obsessing in this case meaning "eats anything he damned well pleases and works out when he feels like it, which is far too rare for his own good") who never gets laid (although in my case, this really means "never gets laid").

Great article, and really well written. I enjoyed reading it, and just have one minor question/nitpick.

After all the debate above about Thriller being 'the number one bestselling album of all time' vs 'one of the best selling albums' - I think there's a knock on effect to your comment about 'Bad'. You state now that it's "only being the second best selling album of all time!" - if Thriller's been knocked off the number one spot, wouldn't that make Bad number three now?

Anyone know who keeps track of this sort of thing anyway? Apart from music anoraks??

Anyway, perhaps it could also be changed to a slightly more ambiguous wording.

Just my tuppence worth.

Inanna

See there you go Colonel Sellers - typical Virgoan fussing on about the minor detail, missing out on the bigger picture

Ah yes, so it does - I've corrected it by adding in the approximate worldwide sales figures as noted by the people at the MJIFC, who keep track of pretty much everything he does!

I saw Cliff Richard on telly the other day getting a bit catty about artists nowadays who have their records go platinum - can't remember the figures but apparently the requisite number has been reduced. He was certainly counting.

Congratulations! Wacko Jacko has now achieved the ultimate, and can finally retire. He is now the subject of a soon-to-be Edited Guide entry.

This article will be passed on to a sub-editor, and will spend some time on the What's Coming Up page for last minute additions before it makes the home page. The process is slow, so have patience. Your day of fame is on the way.

Editorial Note: This thread has been moved out of the Peer Review forum because this entry has now been recommended for the Edited Guide.

If they have not been along already, the Scout who recommended your entry will post here soon, to let you know what happens next. Meanwhile you can find out what will happen to your entry here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/SubEditors-Process

Congratulations!