h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*walks in*

*sits on a large, comfy chair*

*does sod-all*

*wanders in*

*puts a pile of forms in the box labelled 'in-box'*

*notices that the box labelled 'in-box' is actually a shredder*

Gotta love it!

What are the forms about?

Erm... they *were* about Ministerial policies, allocated parking places, budget allocations, private limousines, holiday pay, corruption allowance, etc.

Never mind, I doubt you would have bothered to fill them in anyway. I haven't.

Sod that. Except the corruption allowance, holiday pay (mmmm...holiday pay) and the private limousines, that is. I NEED my corruption allowance!

Well here's a credit card, just use it for all your personal requirements and deny everything if the press asks.

*reaches up on shelf*

*pulls down box labelled 'Bribery Equipment - Safekeeping'*

*places card inside*

Good good. That makes two.

::wanders in:: Hello all. Did someone say something about coruption allowance or something like that? Where are the drinks? what about the coffe? And the itty bitty samitches? Donuts? Just wave me over in the vaguely correct direction.

Just use this credit card and deny everything. Doughnuts are over there, unless some idiot put them in the in-tray.

Mmm, shredded doughnuts.

::takes the credit card and pockets it::
What credit card? I don't see a credit card
::sneaks out and buys, or rather accquires, a buncha random stuff::

*Walks in...*

*Finds closest chair and puts tail up*

I think I could get used to this

::Wanders in with a couple arm loads of bags and crap::
Hullo! ::grins and sits down in the huge over stuffed comfy chair over by the corner with the TV (telly) remote::

What's on?

*realises*

Where's BED??

::sneezes:: Well... um... I don't think we have a TV... just this remote for some reason

Wouldn't there be one in one of those bags you just brought in?

*several large strips of plasticy stuff fall sadly out of the shredder*

I TOLD them not to put it in the in-tray!!!!

*arrives with two big red cushions and purple sleeping bag.*

*finds a corner*

*curls up into a little tiny ball*

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

There appears to be a small purple thing in the corner.

Shall we coax it out with cheese, talk to it, or just poke it with a big stick?

*squeeeks!*

Did someone say cheese?

HEY - STOP POKING ME WITH THAT POINTED STICK!