h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

[WHITE MOUSE]
*quietly sobbing in the corner, as she was the one dishing out the fish food*

[WHITE MOUSE V,VI,VII & X]
*yes please, can you break up the fairy cakes & throw the crumbs onto the floor, then pour a PGGB into a saucer?*

[bulldozer guy]

I'm very impressed with all these costumes - the white mice in particular - where'd you get the shrinker gadgets from? And cool curly tails!

*just has a plastic sit-on bulldozer from when he was 4*

[Know-Nothing]
Hey, cheer up mouse! I love brine shrimp. You know that. Just making my throat so dry without something to drink as well.

[Lady Cynthia Fitzmelton]
Wandering in from the conservatory where she's been attending a completely different but related party.

Good Evening everylifeform, I would just like to declare this rather splendid and extremely worthwhile inaugural ball open hic whoops pexcuse me.

Minister for Handicrafts and Homemade Wine eh? Not a bad job then.

*Turns chair to the Vogon*

Would you like a chair like mine?

[Rob McKenna (raingod)]
*enters, really quite wet*
Ah, so this is where the party is. You wouldn't believe the rain out there. Any chance of a PGGB?

Yes, but if you think I'm going to get it for you.......

*necks several more foul-looking substances*

Yibble!! WheeEeeeEeeeEeeE!! Sploo!! Yibble!! Fnink!! Flibble!!

Ooergh! That stuff does WEIRD things!!

[Rob McKenna]
Hmmm, maybe I'll just have a pint of bitter.

[Pot of Petunias]

Oh no. Not again.

Lovely party you have here, Mr President.

G7

[Were there two pots of petunias? I already pinched that one, just been forgetting to put it]

Damn. Conflict. Well don't expect me to take any action.

[Random]

Greetings everyone!

What's wrong with this? It removed the subject... *sob*

[Wowbagger the Infinitely Prolonged]

Peregrin? *looks at clipboard* Yes, Peregrin, you're a brainless prat.

(Perfect presidential fodder. )

[WHITE MOUSE I,X & XIX]
We want some more fairy cake & PGGB!!!
*hic*
*hic*
*hic*

[Gag Halfrunt]

* walks over to Peregrin the Vogon *

Zaphod Beeblebrox vas vonce my most profitable client. Perhaps, Mr. President, you vould care to employ my services as an analyst of ze highest quvality? Zat vill be six million Altarian dollars.

(MaW breaks the rules by stepping out of character, shooting Gag Halfrunt and mutating into Grunthos the Flatulent, Poet Master of the Azgoths of Kria)

[Grunthos the Flatulent]

That's got rid of that nasty fool. Now, in honour of the occasion, Mr. President, honoured guests, I have prepared a special epic work of passionate poetry entitled "Ode to the fluff in the President's belly button after a night drinking Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters with Zaphod Beeblebrox".

* produces a stack of big, thick encyclopaedia-type books. Anyone who cares to count them will find that there are fifteen volumes, each containing more text than four copies of The Lord of the Rings. *

* picks up the first book, labelled "volume 1 of 56" *

* clears throat *

[recites, ponderously and grandly]
'Twas a night full of light and celebration
Pan Galactic Gargleblasters and the fluff,
oh the fluff fluff fluffy fluff
not the green putty but the fluff fluff fluffy fluff.
The fluff, fluffy fluff, slightly blue around the edges.
The fluff, fluffy fluffy slightly blue fluff that gathers through the night
And upon the morning dost one wake and see the fluff, see the fluffy fluffy fluff with the blue-tinged edges.
See with thine eyes the fluffy fluff with the blue-tinged edges.
The fluffy fluff in the President's belly button.

Zaphod Beeblebrox, he was, the source, the source
Zaphod the source of the fluff
The blue-tinged fluff in the President's belly button
Oh fluff, will you not come out to play?
"Shan't" said the fluff and tickled the fluff the fluff
The fluff, the fluff, the fluff fluff fluffy fluffy the President found
Found the President the fluff fluff with the blue-tinged edges.
The fluff fluff with the blue-tinged edges in his belly button,
In the President's belly button...

*continues*

[Trin Tragula]

*teleports back in, but immediatly has to block out the wavelengths coming from Grunthos*

Hell, that's loud...

*pours himself some Seawater...*

[Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz (if I've spelt that correctly)]

*kicks everyone in sight*

Well I personally think that your poetry is pathetic. You are a pathetic idiot and deserve to die. (that's a compliment by the way)

My poetry is far better.

*ahem*

UUuuuuurgh snort bleeeargh kkuuukkkk,
Ppphhhnerrrrgle cough splot hurrrrkkkk.
Snort snort thhrrrrrr PLURr hrrrrr
Kurrrrk clurrrrgglle hrugle
sskkrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrKUKUKUKUKUKURRRrrhhgghhh.

Thank you.

Oh and I'm sick of this character. Seeing as somebody else has already broken the rules and changed character, I might as well myself.

*Somebody uses an infinite improbability drive and Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz inexplicably turns into...*

[Caveman (who doesn't live in a cave)]

Rrhhhuurgh uurrgh ug UG ugg.

*Offers everyone a bowl of nice looking fruit*

[Telephone Cleaner]
Oooh, I quite liked the one about the fluffy fluff I don't know why, but I do.....!
*nips a glass of champagne from a passin waiters tray*
And I loooove champagne! *Giggle*

[Grunthos the Flatulent]

* is now 1/20th of the way through volume one and still continuing fairly ponderously and rather unstoppably, although disappointed by the general reception of the poem *