A Conversation for Hawksbill Turtles
Peer Review: A43652586 - Hawksbill Turtles
Jhawkesby Started conversation Nov 16, 2008
Entry: Hawksbill Turtles - A43652586
Author: Jhawkesby - U13402970
This is my guide entry on Hawksbill Turtles. They are wonderful animals and they mostly live in tropical climates. If there are any things that need to be added I don't mind adding them.
A43652586 - Hawksbill Turtles
BigAl Patron Saint of Left Handers Keeper of the Glowing Pickle and Monobrows Posted Nov 16, 2008
Yes, nice Entry, jh
Only one comment:
'You may have noticed some of these creatures are filled with lethal toxins so you would think they would kill the turtles...'
How would we 'notice' this? Suggest that you re-phrase this slightly.
A
A43652586 - Hawksbill Turtles
Jhawkesby Posted Nov 16, 2008
Sorted it out.
When I used may in the sentence it was suppose to mean that if someone who knows the animals would have noticed that they were filled with toxins but I can see what you mean.
A43652586 - Hawksbill Turtles
BigAl Patron Saint of Left Handers Keeper of the Glowing Pickle and Monobrows Posted Nov 16, 2008
A43652586 - Hawksbill Turtles
Opticalillusion- media mynx life would be boring without hiccups Posted Nov 18, 2008
In my opinion this is a lovely little Entry but theres a few little things that perhaps could be changed.
I think you could put the word 'also' in one of the sentences so it reads something like 'They are also found in America, but this is rare'.
I think 'weighing' could be changed to 'weigh'
The use of 'you' ....not sure whether it's possible to get away with writing Entries in this way.
On the whole though this is a great little read well done.
A43652586 - Hawksbill Turtles
Jhawkesby Posted Nov 18, 2008
Thankyou.
I have sorted it out but with the you bit I did think about it when I was writing the guide entry and I needed that shock effect and when I read a few edited guide entries I saw they used you for this effect but if anybody can think of an alternative that would be great.
A43652586 - Hawksbill Turtles
Opticalillusion- media mynx life would be boring without hiccups Posted Nov 18, 2008
well you could change it to
Some of these creatures are filled with lethal toxins, but Hawksbills are immune to the toxins; this can give them the advantage of more food.
or alternatively leave it as it is
I'll leave it to you and the sub-editor
A43652586 - Hawksbill Turtles
Jhawkesby Posted Nov 18, 2008
OK no problem.
What I will do is leave it as it is and I will see what other people think and if they agree then I will change it.
A43652586 - Hawksbill Turtles
Opticalillusion- media mynx life would be boring without hiccups Posted Nov 18, 2008
Congratulations - Your Entry has been Picked for the Edited Guide!
h2g2 auto-messages Posted Nov 27, 2008
Your Guide Entry has just been picked from Peer Review by one of our Scouts, and is now heading off into the Editorial Process, which ends with publication in the Edited Guide. We've therefore moved this Review Conversation out of Peer Review and to the entry itself.
If you'd like to know what happens now, check out the page on 'What Happens after your Entry has been Recommended?' at EditedGuide-Process. We hope this explains everything.
Thanks for contributing to the Edited Guide!
Peer Review: A43652586 - Hawksbill Turtles
Opticalillusion- media mynx life would be boring without hiccups Posted Nov 27, 2008
Peer Review: A43652586 - Hawksbill Turtles
lil ~ Auntie Giggles with added login ~ returned Posted Nov 27, 2008
Key: Complain about this post
Peer Review: A43652586 - Hawksbill Turtles
- 1: Jhawkesby (Nov 16, 2008)
- 2: Galaxy Babe - eclectic editor (Nov 16, 2008)
- 3: Jhawkesby (Nov 16, 2008)
- 4: BigAl Patron Saint of Left Handers Keeper of the Glowing Pickle and Monobrows (Nov 16, 2008)
- 5: Jhawkesby (Nov 16, 2008)
- 6: BigAl Patron Saint of Left Handers Keeper of the Glowing Pickle and Monobrows (Nov 16, 2008)
- 7: Noth€r (Nov 18, 2008)
- 8: Opticalillusion- media mynx life would be boring without hiccups (Nov 18, 2008)
- 9: Jhawkesby (Nov 18, 2008)
- 10: Opticalillusion- media mynx life would be boring without hiccups (Nov 18, 2008)
- 11: Jhawkesby (Nov 18, 2008)
- 12: Opticalillusion- media mynx life would be boring without hiccups (Nov 18, 2008)
- 13: Jhawkesby (Nov 24, 2008)
- 14: h2g2 auto-messages (Nov 27, 2008)
- 15: Jhawkesby (Nov 27, 2008)
- 16: Noth€r (Nov 27, 2008)
- 17: Opticalillusion- media mynx life would be boring without hiccups (Nov 27, 2008)
- 18: lil ~ Auntie Giggles with added login ~ returned (Nov 27, 2008)
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