h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Walking through the main entrance one is greeted by the Great Hall, a huge obsidian room with runes in floor ceiling and walls. A sense of drowsy submission overcomes all who step in here. In red runed helmets are the Emperors Palace Guard, they bear great longswords, and seem to be immune to the soporific effects of the room. Opposite are a pair of the obsidian runed gates that seem to be a theme in Commorrogh. Beyond is the throne room. On the ruby throne the Emperor sits for audiences and judgements. Supplicants may kneel at the base of a series of obsidian steps leading up to the throne, guarded by two high-guard mounted on wyverns on either side of the steps, and just below the throne itself crouch two of the red-armoured palace guard.
The Emperor himself is young, even by human standards. He is about twenty, but the lines of cruelty already are ingrained on his face.

The high guard leads them into the great hall. The trio are watched steadily by the palace-guard within. The three wait to be announced.

.... and announced they are.

The throne room is very very big, it's ceiling is not visible. The two High-guard either side of the steps leading to the throne are recognisable as the two met earlier (Guardian 1 and 3). Guardian1 seems unwilling to actually look at Skullsplitter.

The Emperor wears a crown of strange gold, a simple circlet with spikes as tall and thin a needles coming off it. His long black hair is braided with gold and his grey skin is painted with a strange pattern of gold also. His ceremonial plate-armour is gold and red, a white wyvern rampant is his family crest. He looks down at Skullsplitter with interest.

< Not rushing ye' laddy.>

"Och, this place is mekkin' me sleepy"

Skullsplitter yawns dramatically then looks up at the Emperor...

"Tha's a brilliant hat!"

The Emperor sneers imperially.
"Chain him. I will conduct his torture personally."

The guardian (1) stands and cries out
"No!"
She rips off her helmet and leaps infront of Skullsplitter. Her eyes are the eyes of a drow, bitter, deep and glow-in-the-dark, but her hair was the hair of a celt. The Emperor stands angrily.
"What is the meaning of this Morag?!"

Skullsplitter stands in stunned silence, all thoughts of hurting the Emperor driven from his mind.

"Wha'? Who? How?"

The guardian who'd talked about having advised the emperor not to removes his helmet and steps forward, looking concerned.
"Morag was brought here to be a slave for the young Emperor. It is always deemed fitting for a young boy of the royal family to have slaves his age. She... escaped. We hunted her to the Wall of the cavern, and in desperation she began to climb. We laughed at her, thinking that no child could ever make the climb, let alone be deemed worthy by one of the wyverns and carried down as a wyvern-rider, and it entertained us to watch her try. We have a law, meant for the good of the Emperor - that any who succeed must spend at least twenty years as a High Guardian. It had backfired horribly as we had never even conceived that a non-drow could make it, especially not a child. And as a High Guardian she could not be harmed by anyone for anything other than betrayal of the Emperor. We altered her eyes so that she could see like we do. And until she willingly gives up her Guardianship or betrays the Emperor we cannot harm her."
He laughs "We thought her a common village brat, but to learn that she is actually related to the Skullsplitter! What irony!"

Skullsplitter regains his composure, winks at Morag, swaggers up to the Emperor and stands in front of him defiantly. The guardian (3) moves into intercept but the Emperor waves them away, clearly amused at this futile display of bravado.

"'Ey pal. Kin yer mammie sew?"
The Emperor leans forward, slightly puzzled by the banality of the question. "Yes?" he replies cautiously.
"Then tell 'er tae stitch this!" Skullsplitter manages to land a vicious headbutt on the Emperor before being wrestled to the ground by the guardian (who savagely beats him for good measure).

Cymoril is shocked at several things - first and foremost that a human was the High Guardian that had for so long waved her into Commorrogh, and secondly that she was actually slightly concerned over Skullsplitter's fate.

The Emperor leans back, his nose bleeding. He makes some passes in the air and his wounds begin to close up. His shoulders beging to shake with rage... or is it laughter? The laughter begins to escape his lips with a hiss, then he throws back his head and roars with amusement. After a while he stops and looks down at the bleeding and broken human in front of him and smiles cruelly. He wipes his own blood from his face, looks at it, then flicks it off his hand onto the floor around Skullsplitter.

"Take him to the cells."

The guardians pick him up and carry him down to the cells.

F2184108?thread=689344 (gone for a week or two)

((next Tuesday that it))