h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

In the empty forest of empty barstools, a barstool falls over. With nobody there to listen, does it make a sound?

Well, the June bar exists even if there is no link to it. Will it be found?

Makes one wonder, doesn't it?

I'll drink to that!

Now it makes two wonder!

Sounds like to me.

...*enters via alley door...*Hey!! I've been out in the alley all month.
Well, not ALL month ... I mean, the month's not over. One day it will be. But not today. Now I've gone and confuse-a-lated mydamnedself.

...*checks out the corner of her eye to see if anyone's taking the bait, er, paying attention...*



Well, if no one's going to offer a LADY a drink, I'll jusss
pour one mydamnedself.

You wouldn't believe what I had to do to get here.
...or, uh, maybe you would...

...*thinking about dancing on a table...*

Oh, isn't that Pandora?

Have you considered putting on some clothes, my dear? It's not that sunny indoors.

Hello Hati. I'd give you a hug, but, um, it might feel a bit odd...me being nude again...an' all...
...*wonders where her clothes are...decides she cares not...*
You know Hati, you and I are a lot alike ... we both put our bras on one leg at a time.

...*removes Kes' from his hand...removes his jacket...puts it on...replaces the ...in the nick of time...poor fella was 'bout to begin to protest...*I jusss hate when that happens.

Now, about those weeds growing in the alley...

Are they still there?

No. A council workman has just this minute sprayed 'em with weed killer.

Is he still alive?

*Mumbling sounds from inside the wrong-way-round jacket*

Do you need some help, Kes?

*More muffled mumbling ... this time with added arm-waving, attempting to convey the message that please would someone either put the lights back on, or turn the jacket the right way round.*

Now, Kes, I put this here on the table and as soon as you get out of that mess, you can drink it.

Aww! Hati! That's so cruel of you to tease ze awld geezer so.

*Lifts the , finds an open corner somewhere near the top of Kes' tangled jacket and pours*

There! Howzat Kes? Feel better now?

Glug glug. Fwurple glug. Hzzz mmmpfmfff mrifflg.

Enters bar from left, walks up to draught tap and draws a long

SO this is where everybody got to...?
I was watching last month and decided you'd all got boring and left...

*downs draught*

Damn, but that stuff can get the dust out of a man's throat...!

Hey, Pan, I like the jacket...who's your dressmaker??

WR

Pan's dressmaker is likely to be the same tailor that made the dust jacket for your throat.

*Turns her attention to Kes and directs her hairdryer into the confines of his tangled jacket*

I think you are all very odd.

I like that in people~!

Speaking of people ... I know a couple of um having a celebration, this 14th day of June 1776. And I would like to... ... whatzzz that you say?!?
Guess my nap was a bit longer than I'd thought.
Anyway, to Kes and mari-rae
To their 42 ann...*whispers...*whaddo you mean NOT 42cd?! I happen to know *THE* answer is 'always' 42.

Anyway...to Kes and mari-rae~!

Cong-rats!