h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*starts typing*

In the Beginning there was Pizza, and the Pizza was with God. And God saw to it that it was good.
Then came the second day and God said: Let there be Pizza-boys, so that everyone can share and enjoy the good thing I have made.

But Lucifer, the Bringer of Light, thought: "Hell! I want to be the bringer of Pizza!" So he set out and took hold of the boys, warning them of the risks they should have with Hitchhikers and the like, and lo! they did not heed him...

*notices he needs a and goes for it...*

Would someone like to continue?

" ... and on the third day She said 'Let there be light carboard insulating boxes and noisy scooters for the distribution of Pizza, and there were. And She looked upon it and saw that it was not altogether good or free from pollution, but what the ****, we all like Pizza. And the morning and the evening were the third day."

And She said, It is not good that the Woman should be alone; I will make an help meet for her.
And out of the ground She formed every man in the field, and the Woman and the Men called each other names.
And She made the Pizza Boy and the Woman said, This is now a nice plaything.
Therefore the pizza boy will take his cardboard pizza in a box, and his noisy scooter, and will travel to the woman.
And they were both naked, the woman and the pizza boy, and had lots of fun.

Now the serpent was more subtil than any beast of the field which She had made. And he said unto the woman, Yea, you want some pizza?
And the woman said unto the serpent, You must be joking, have you ever tasted one of these things?
And the serpent said unto the woman, Yes, I like pizza actually.
And when the woman saw that the pizza was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, she did eat.
And the woman had a hard time coping with serious food poisoining and indigestion and a lot more unpleasant things.

.... the message in this is obvious isn't it, girls?

... and on the seventh day, a day of rest was scheduled, but God had to go and clear up all the empty pzza boxes and other wrappers that yobs had thrown into the Garden.

On the eighth day then, when everyone wondered if they had to go back to w*rk again, Lucifer came around again, sulking and chewing on the remains of a pizza hawai (with hoolagirls) and decided to call at a chinese take away to solve the problem...

Wow, what a story! That explains a lot!

I'd never have thought that a pub may turn me religious.

Hark, Hati! Though shouldn't turn blasphemous towards thy fellowdrinkers... May the Holy Words, that were uttered from the depths of their glas be a light unto thy treatment of Pizza-boys... GO FOR THEM!

... and thus it came to be that in the sixth month in the sixth year, Hati called the sixth pizza shop because that was the only one still delivering to the crossed porpoises pub
and there was .. well.. let's call it rejoicing?

Anybody else for a pizza-boy?
Babette?
mari-rae?

Wyvern, would you prefer pizza or boy?

Vegetarian pizza for you, Bob?

ah, looks like we'll have another sermon

and if Mari-rae doesn't want one I'll have a double?

* looks at Wyvern * triple..??

and Bob's pizza without garlic please?

Ain't you getting greedy?
Bob and garlic... Don't you like the smell of garlic, Babette?

ok .. skip the triple .. and garlic .. mm..

Sometimes I thik garlic or leek could create some mess or panic in CP.

* looks around *

I wouldn't be surprised

Reading from the Book of Recipies, CHapter 1 Verses 3-5 "What speaketh though of garlik and leek, if you can have tomatos and cheese? Whom doest thou call thy sevent, if he not delivereth? Doesn't thy Goddess spell it out for you, what inGREEDients thou should taketh?"

AMEN!

Amen to that!

ah yes, but a few pages earlier it says

And if thou orderst a pizza baken in the oven, it shall be a cake of fine flour mingled with oil, and it had better not have any garlic in it.
And if thous orderst a pizza boy then behold, it is pleasing to have some fun with him and not make him leave before he shalt be too tired to stand on his legs

Hey, thou have taken these words from the "Book of Basic Cooking", am I right?

truly, thou hast seen and understood this right. it's a revised edition though