A Conversation for The h2g2 Symphony Orchestra
Musical Jokes
Mong, Ruler of the Spoon People Started conversation Oct 26, 2001
Got any good music jokes? Post em here 
How do you get 2 flutes to play in tune?
Shoot one of them.
How do you get an oboeist to play A flat?
Take the batteries out of her tuner.
What do 10 conductors at the bottom of a lake sound like?
A good idea.
How many double bass players does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
10. One to hold the bulb and 9 to drink till the room spins.
Musical Jokes
Kate Posted Nov 28, 2001
How can you tell if you're dating a french horn player?
-It's all in the way he holds you
Musical Jokes
Kate Posted Nov 28, 2001
What's the difference between a saxophone and a chainsaw?
--It's all in the grip
What's the difference between a saxophone and a lawnmower?
--a) vibrato
--b) you can tune a lawnmower
How do you raise the IQ of an entire town?
--shoot all the tuba players
One day in band the conductor got upset at one of the saxophones and
yelled at him. "If you can't play your part we'll have to do to you what they do to all horn players that can't play their parts; we dump them from the band and make them drummers." A few people in the back heard a whispered reply, "And if the kid still can't play anything, they take away one of his sticks and make him a conductor."
Musical Jokes
Mong, Ruler of the Spoon People Posted Nov 30, 2001
What's the difference between a soprano and a terrorist?
You can negotiate with the terrorist.
Musical Jokes
Peter aka Krans Posted Dec 7, 2001
I like the hornist joke. 
- How do you make a trombone sound like a horn?
- Stick your hand in the bell and play half the notes right
- Trombonists... first to the bar, last to the barline.
Musical Jokes
Mong, Ruler of the Spoon People Posted Dec 7, 2001
Why did JS Bach have 20 children?
His organ didn't have any stops.
What's better than roses on your piano?
Tulips on your organ.
Musical Jokes
Pan, the piper at the gates of dawn Posted Jun 19, 2002
What's the difference between a bull and an orchestra?
An orchestra has the arse in the front and the horns in the back.
What's the difference between an oboe and a bassoon?
A bassoon burns longer.
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Musical Jokes
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