h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I did notice that there aren't any actual players listed. Are there any players in general, or do they all live in the basement at the towers?

Yeah - do you need any more trombonists for instance? You can never have too much volume from a brass section.

I think they've always been here, but we only found out about them last friday, the same time h2g2 General Hospital was discovered

I guess they just live in the fora, kind of like the Celery & Webjello

You can have too much volume from a brass section, however my piccolo will always be heard above your trombone.

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Ooh.. having asked that, Joe aka arnia told me that the whole point is there aren't any players. Which is rather silly.

I think I may start up a h2g2 orchestra with real players.

(I could be conductor, or better still, principal clarinettist)

<-- is in a clarinetty mood atm, because he found a 150-year old clarinet for £43 the other day and is playing it in preference to his £2000 Buffet

*Oboist wanders into thread, and starts playing mournfully...*

Its not silly, it means anyone can make any of the soloists/sections/whole orchestra do what they want in a forum. So atm the oboist is playing.

*sounds of brass ensemble in distance, clashing horribly with oboe*

But one can just about hear the brass ensemble giving Peregrin a headache in another forum

*Joanna glares at oboist, who hurridly shuts up and goes away*

*...followed by a bassist*

true. But a proper orchestra would be better.

Yes, brass is bad. Brass is loud. Brass players are generally stupid, as well. But of course Krans isn't. (just in case he comes in here, or looks upon this at a later date) ...

Ooh... you can glare at oboes and they stop?? I never knew that!

Brass is great - the brass section is usually the only bit of the orchestra with any sense of humour.

And I shall defeat your piccolo yet, Joanna. *Gets out tuba, spare trombone and cornet*

brass may be loud, but I can beat it in sensitivity, and tone quality. *gets out 150-year-old Albert System Rosewood clarinet*

Ahh but the piccolo will overcome the tuba because human anatomy makes the higher note sound louder!

Hence the cornet. Anyway, eventually you'll dull the upper end of their hearing, and the sensitivity to high notes will go away.

*prepares cotton wool as backup plan in case this doesn't work*

And it's not true that brass instruments can't be played expressively. Just because we choose not to doesn't mean we can't.

*...brass ensemble march loudly through thread, followed by the conductor, who is practically tearing his hair out...*

Yes Ian. Whatever you say...


oh, you may like these...

What's the difference between a bass trombone and a chain saw?
- Vibrato, though you can minimise this difference by holding the chainsaw very still.
- It's easier to improvise on a chainsaw.


What do you call a trombonist with a beeper and a cellular telephone?
- A optimist.

We all Know Then If High Sounds Are made Louder, That The Triangle Is the Loudest, You won't see me playing a 150 year old Triangle. And A percussionist alone playing a Tam Tam Could drown out the whole orchestra!

So put that In your tuba and smoke it!

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