The h2g2 Orchestra
Created | Updated Feb 23, 2005
We are the orchestra. You will be forced to listen. Resistance is futile. Your musical skills will be added to our own.
This is the Orchestra. They live on h2g2, and they can provide the background music. The background to your dramas, your parties, your lives on h2g2.
You can see the Orchestra in action at the h2g2 General Hospital
Meet the Players
The Conductor
The conductor rules the orchestra. He speaks for the orchestra, and leads them... Rumour has it that he is foul tempered and talks to potted plants. He denies this vehemently.
The String Section
The string section thinks it is the most important in the orchestra. It thinks it is the most sensitive to its surroundings of all the sections, and tries to use this as an excuse to anticipate the conductor.
The Woodwind Section
The woodwind section thinks it is the most important in the orchestra. It is the most likely to show off, with trills and piercing high notes from the flutes and piccolos. It hates the brass because they can play louder.
The Brass Section
The brass section thinks its more important because it plays loudest. The brass section is the least intelligent of the orchestra, and doesn't hate any of the other sections, because it plays louder.
The Percussion
The percussion is even more of a unit than the other sections - it runs with near military precision. The percussion add sparkle, in the form of the triangle.
Introducing the Soloists
The Oboist
This season's soloist is an oboist. Soloists are unlike other players in that they think for themselves, and don't try to follow the conductor - they make it up as they go along. The oboist likes to play haunting, whistful melodies, whether or not this is appropriate to the setting. His cat died last year.
The String Quartet
The String Quartet specialises in background music. No matter how passionately it plays, this string quartet is, unfortunately, muzak1, and know it. However, they do their best, and will most likely be found trying accompany a romantic interlude
Giveaway Basses
If something is going wrong, a bass player will be there. In fact, a good time to leave an area is when the bass player arrives- they anticipate disaster with uncanny accuracy. Don't let them near ill people, and don't let them die with their instruments... ghostly bass players with basses are a menace indeed.
