h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*a map of the village is spread out on the kitchen table*
http://www.amytheant.co.uk/maps/villagemap3.jpg

*the kettle is boiling, and there is freshly made blueberry pie*

Titania dear
What a wonderful map. Please may I come to the Harvest Festival? It sounds the greatest fun and I would love to meet you all there.
With much affection, AR1

*Wanders in*
Hi Titania. I could help out ... if we can find a couple of volunteers to drag the piano round from the Church Hall, I could provide some light classical background beneath the trees ... or a sing-along beside the beer tent ... whatever!

*Poet clears throat, composing in honour of the occasion*
Ahem! Here's an offering ...though, of course, we will be hoping for fine weather on the actual day .....

The day that the rains fell on our Village fete
Nothing quite went according to programme or plan ..oh!
A flood swept the soloist out of the tent,
While the vicar accompanied her on the piano!

Of course you can come, AR1! Would you like a and a slice of ? Kes?

...and that map over there is an original 'Graphic Ants' work...

Kes, thank you for offering to help! I've never been to a harvest festival before myself, this'll be my first!

I like the sing-along-beside-beer-tent idea! Bluebottle has offered to get some marquees...

...so what would you expect to see at the festival? I was thinking of:

- Beer Tent

- Cream Tea Tent

- Lucky Dip

- Tombola

- A Cake Baking Contest - but we need a judge

- Probably a couple of market stalls, with people selling jars of honey, baskets, all sorts of home made stuff

- A village contest with all those silly events like... like... I don't know the English names for them - jumping-in-a-sack, potato-on-spoon - you know...

I was thinking of setting up a couple of conversation threads, maybe even a new entry, if I can find people who'll run the various things, being responsible for them!

DEar Titania,
I notice that you would like some volunteers to help. Would it help if I offered to convene the cake stall and competition? I could also help in the home made jams and preserves if you like. It is going to be a smashing Harvest Festival. AR1

Oh - that would be great - yes please!

AR1: 1 stall for cake competition, and 1 stall for home made jams and preservatives - is that right?

*scribbles busily on her note pad*

Kes: 1 piano including pianoplayer and sing-a-long? *must get some sturdy fellows to help moving the piano*

Yes ... we should also have a coconut shy (throwing hard wood balls at coconuts on stands) ...and donkey rides. I could do the donkey rides while taking a break from the piano . What else ... I know! Three-legged races

*scribbles some more*

Kes - donkey rides

I was thinking of a race with several rounds
- like first round potato-on-spoon... or should that be egg-on-spoon?
- second round three-legged or what-do-you-call-it-hopping-with-legs-in-sack?
- third round... hmmmmm....

*hastily reaches for an eraser*

That was supposed to read potatoe-on-spoon...

No, that doesn't look right either - there's no 'e' in 'potato' - is there?

OK, so let's make it egg-on-spoon then!

The perils of English, combined with H2G2 markups! OK ... they are:
Egg and spoon race
Sack race.

Other good ones are:
Pancake race (sprint while tossing pancake in pan ... do not drop)
Pram race: pusher dressed as Mum, occupant dressed as baby. Push pram around course, pausing to consume s at several points. Impeding the opposition by means of water pistols and flour bombs is highly recommended ....

I'd love to see that - but I think we might try to keep it simple...

How about a 'best of 5'?

Yes indeed! Simple is best

Dear Titania
I have invited several friends to come to the Harvest Festival. I am also wondering whether you think it would be a good idea to have a virtual tug of war competition. In this way we could include members from the Scottish group, the Dutch group, the Scandanavian group etc., etc. Also it would be nice if we could have some publicity for it. I am going to suggest to all my friends that they come. Perhaps other fan Clubs can do the same. I think we should have a wonderful time. It is a great idea. Best wishes and a AR1

Invited? Did you use the invitation card? A806500

Hi Titania

Thanks for your invitation. I have vast quantities of home made Elderberry Wine that you could use for a tombola stall if you're interested.

Using wine as stall? Sorry... you mean as prizes?

Well my homebrew 'vats' are pretty large but not that big!

You could use my bottles or demijohns 'on' a tombola stall if you like, but please don't let on what my secret ingredient is.

I've created an entry trying to get a better picture: A810640

Gwennie - could I interest you in taking care of the Tombola?

As Vavoom's thatcher I could put on a display about Thatching. And I know some people in the Marquee trade...

<BB<