h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Well, I ran off rather quickly yesterday .. I thought we might...

*Kes unfastens GB's belt, and hands it - complete with key - to PE ... not noticing how much uniform is attached to the belt.*

Quick Peaceful! The soap!

> Soap?
> Er, yes, I have soap.....ooh....what are you doing?

(not here)
Wouldn't you like to know?!?

3

JOTD: I have a very firm grasp on reality. I can reach out and strangle it any time.

Grasping the soap, neglecting reality, she quickly presses the key to the soft soap [which hasn't any nail varnish on it]... and gives the key back to Kes.

Then she sees what still is going on!

It seems as if Kes is after a second key, and the Maid is enjoying it!

She is alarmed! This way they will lose precious time!

She decides to separate them, forget the second key!

*GB and Kes are backed into a corner. Kes issues clear, precise, urgent instructions.*

Mmmmmf! Mmm grrrmff frrrbblle mmffff! Quick!

No! Not quick! Slow down! Oooooooh

*Zen detachment has its limits. They are rapidly approaching. Kes manages to get his head above the battlements, and shouts:*

Peaceful! Get her off me! But quickly - very quickly!

* PE is encouraged to save Kes -- he has asked for salvation!

* She pulls and pushes and shoves and kicks... finally, he is free...

that means, they both tumble in a heap, on top of the hapless GB!

*None of them notice the door to the room opening ...

*None of them notice the man in the baggy pullover, with his camera and flashgun, coming into the room ...

*The mystery pullover coughs, and says "Excuse me" through his false beard.

*At this point, he is noticed.

*The trio look straight at him ..... just as the flashbulg goes off*

POP!

*The flashbulb went off as well, making the room even brighter. The flashbulg(e) was just something in someone's pocket at the time*

YIKES!!!!

Oh no! Isn't it enough to be a sinner?!

But does the whole world need to know?

Now the convent would never accept her back...

*Chuckling behind his disguise, the other Kes runs from the Manor, discarding pullover and beard into a pot plant.

*The trio in the room have a bad case of red-eye, and have lost interest in proceedings.

Oh gosh! Did you see that!

*Some sight returns*
Oh no! Cover up! You too, Peaceful!

Back at his cottage, the evil brother unpacks his newly-purchased pocket darkroom kit, and begins mixing strange chemicals. After having the cocktail, he sets up the darkroom, and begins work. What will develop?*

* As her lovely red eyes become used to the room's lighting... PE looks around and sees what?

She still has a tremendous headache...

This seems like a Flemish picture... bodies strewn... !!!

She quickly gets up and glares at the two innocent victims of her destruction... she is almost sorry for them!

* But she is angry at Kes? Why had he thought there was a second key?
Why had he attacked the poor GB?

KES!!!! You didn't have to attach yourself to her, you know!

*stumbling painfully from the room, GB turns to Kes & Peaceful and says:
Breakfast will be ready in a few minutes. It's pancakes...with syrup.
*holds head
I think I need some....

Yes - thank you very much, Miss ... we'll give you a tip later!

Peaceful. She's gone. Thank you for the rescue.

You're not angry with me are you?

She is angry?

She doesn't understand why she is angry... but she is.

GB is still sitting there, trying to reconnect to this strange world... and she wasn't even drunk... she was an innocent victim!