For the frequent traveler in the United States, it is handy to know how food is prepared and served in its different geographic reigons. Conversely, if one has been traveling around so much that one has forgotten precisely where one is ¹; one can make a rough guess simply by ordering breakfast. Here's how.

Tea

A very handy gague of where one is in the United States is tea preparation. To conduct this experiment, visit any local resteraunt² and order "Tea". Do not add any qualifiers, just "tea". Now, observe what comes out.

If the result is hot black tea, with cream and sugar on the side, you are somewhere in the north-eastern region of the U.S., probably along the Atlantic Seaboard, but north of Virginia.

If the result is iced black tea, supersaturated with sugar, served with lemon on the side, you are in the south-eastern region of the U.S., in the area known as "The South". Attempt to locate a barbeque resteraunt immediantly.

If the result is a very mellow iced black tea, unsweetened, with lemon on the side, you are in the south-western portion of the U.S. drinking sun tea. Go immediantly to any Mexican resteraunt with a menu entirely in Spanish and order Green Corn Tamales. Be very happy.

If the result is a Chai tea, spiced with cardamom, cinnamon and anise, with milk and sugar already added, you are somewhere along the Pacific Coast of the U.S. The seafood and asian cusine should be quite good.

If they bring you an espresso, you are in Seattle. Procede immediantly to "Wild Ginger" and order Saytay.

If they bring you an aluminium can marked "Lipton", run.

The Grits Line

The Grits Line is an imaginary line traversing the Carolinas, Tennessee, Arkansas and Texas. South of the grit line, grits³ will be served automatically with any breakfast.

To determine if you are south of the Grits Line, simply order the daily special breakfast with tea. If the meal includes grits and the tea is iced, sweetened and lemoned, you south of the Grits Line.

The grits line extends only partially into Florida. A breakfast with iced, sweetened tea and no grits is a strong indicator for southern Florida, USA.

Other Geographic Indicators

Mexican

The quality and type of Mexican served is a strong geographic indicator of the American Southwest. Bland, tasteless Mexican indicates one has not yet entered the Southwest. Tacos served in deep fried corn tortillas indicates Texas. Salsa so hot that the mild causes hovering flies to burst into flame simply from the vapours indicates New Mexico. An overabundance of tamales and roasted garlic in the salsa indicates Arizona. An absence of any deep frying and an overuse of avocado indicates Southern California.

The author requests assistance in determining distinguishing characteristics of New York and Washington State⁴ Mexican cooking.

Mayonnaise

Another simple geographic identifer is what table mayonnaise is served. If the brand is Hellman's, one is east of the Mississippi River. If the brand is Best Foods, one is west of the river.