h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

If ever you should need a good, live whine, I suggest you visit lovely Kalamazoo. The attractions are many. In addition to something in the local water that leaves the entire population interestingly touched in the head to greater or lesser degrees, our most popular local pastime is pissin' and moanin'.
Just plop yourself down on any bar stool, coffee shop couch, or diner booth, say hello to your neighbor, and you'll find that nearly every conversation is frequently punctuated with "Well if you think THAT'S bad, lemme' tell ya' about..."
Some common griping points are "Well how am I supposed to come up with the money if..." "It's been two damn weeks since the sun came out!" "And you won't believe what that crazy SOB did next..." and "Did you see that? Just what the hell must they be putting in our water?"
Often one needn't even worry about finding someone to complain to. Why just the other day I was merely walking down the street when I was approached by a stranger more than delighted to go on for twenty minuites about her missing gloves, following it up with a cordial "and how about you?"
Kalamazoo natives, when visiting new places, are often embarassed and flustered to discover others who not only listen to their rants but actually give a damn. A Kalamazooan can usually be identified by the statement "Oh sorry. It's really no big deal. Didn't mean to trouble you, you weren't supposed to care."
So if you'd ever like to visit a real life Rant Shack, you'll be more than welcome almost anywhere in Kalamazoo, Michigan.

you know i thought about going to school in kalamazoo. i guess there was a reason why i was not so jumpy about the college there. now i know but hey thanks for the heads up.

Ive got a flexible necked torch that was made in Kalamazoo,and Martin Luther Kings' mother came from there too,nowt just thought Id say.