A Conversation for Four Small Poems Entitled 'Love'
A4162321 - Love
frontiersman Posted Jun 7, 2005
A beautiful poetic thought; a wonderful sacrifice of self.
May I intrude on your creative thought and constructively suggest that the
'for' is replaced by 'to'. Read it aloud with the change, you will detect the difference!
f.
A4162321 - Love
Tonsil Revenge (PG) Posted Jun 7, 2005
I think "for" works in two ways.
In the sense of "to" and in the sense of an exchange.
A4162321 - Love
frontiersman Posted Jun 7, 2005
Hi TR,
Yes, you have a good point.
Should we wait and see what the author has to say on the suggestions?
f.
A4162321 - Love
michaeldetroit Posted Jun 8, 2005
hello frontiersman (it's no intrusion; this is a workshop, no?) and hello TonsilRevenge.
i have given much thought to the suggestion and, as you suggested, i have givevn voice to it, too.
at this moment i'm inclined in favor of for, in part for the multiple entendre as TR suggests and the additional sense of 'gift', but in equal part for the soft sound of the f (for) as opposed to the hard sound of the t (to).
you may note that the only other hard sound is the g in 'give' and that, too, is by design.
i'll think some more. and i'll voice some more. i'll sing and i'll dance and i'll dream some more. bewitched, bothered and bewildered...
poet(ique)
A4162321 - Love
frontiersman Posted Jun 8, 2005
Hi Michael; nice to see you!
Yes, I think you are likely to be right there about the 'hard' and 'soft' sounds. I am, I must admit, a bit 'torn' between 'for' and 'to'. But I see your point about the multiple entendre aspect and the 'for' implying the gift. Initially, I think I was looking solely at the rhyme and not taking the broader view of meaning within context!
f.
A4162321 - Love
Blue Bird Posted Jun 15, 2005
Love is love --- ergo can not involve self hate to the point
to give up your life in the name of LOVE.
In addition: the person who would "accept" this "sacrifice" would feel also so guilty that perhaps also would kill he/she self!
Under the aegis of LOVE everybody dies? No thanks, I have different ideas about the stuff you talking about.
Greetings: bird
P.S. I come from a different world where one does not smoke, does not drink, does not take drugs, but goes to work to earn a living in an honest way.
And still can read poetry with selection for good art. ?
Key: Complain about this post
Alternative Writing Workshop: A4162321 - Love
More Conversations for Four Small Poems Entitled 'Love'
Write an Entry
"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is a wholly remarkable book. It has been compiled and recompiled many times and under many different editorships. It contains contributions from countless numbers of travellers and researchers."