A Conversation for OK Computer - an album by Radiohead
Writing Workshop: A4148804 - OK Computer - best album ever?
JuarezGriffin Started conversation Jun 3, 2005
Entry: OK Computer - best album ever? - A4148804
Author: JuarezGriffin - U1593379
Hello there, this is my first ever attempt at an entry, so any constructive criticism would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!
A4148804 - OK Computer - best album ever?
Danny B Posted Jun 3, 2005
Hi Juarez
This is a great Entry (although, personally, I can't stand Radiohead )
I'm afraid I don't have time to read it properly at the moment (supposed to be working and all that...) but there are a couple of House-Style points you might note, such as putting quotations in single ('') rather than double ("") quotes, and not including first-person references ('...I urge you to get a copy of the album and give it a chance') - you can find out more about House-Style here: A266131
Other than that, I think it would be perfectly acceptable for you to submit this to Peer Review, where you'll probably get a lot more interest (and picky comments like this one )
A4148804 - OK Computer - best album ever?
Mina Posted Jun 3, 2005
Great first entry.
Some comments for you:
Titles and headers should have capital letters on all the main words - anything over 3 letters long usually.
The titles of singles should be written as 'single title' as only albums get italics.
There are a couple of places where you need an entra space after words in italics, as slant makes them run together.
Double quotes should be single quotes.
Some entries to link to:
A590889 Radiohead - the Band
A766000 One-hit Wonders
A345025 REM - the Band
Sorry for all the nitpicky comments, but there's not much else to say.
Well done!
A4148804 - OK Computer - best album ever?
Gnomon - time to move on Posted Jun 3, 2005
This is great! It's almost ready to be put into Peer Review. Just a little tidying first:
You seem to be pretty handy at GuideML, but I'll make a few suggestions to keep this in line with other entries in our Guide:
1. Don't bother with the ALIGN="LEFT" in the tag.
2. You left out a after "everywhere." This only works because you stuck an extra at the very end!
3. You should put and around paragraphs even when they don't appear to need it. This is because some browser somewhere might not display it correctly unless you do.
There are a few other things as well. You are not supposed to mention yourself in entries, so you should rephrase the bit where you say "I recommmend" or whatever it was.
And remove the apostrophe from it's. It's means it is. Its means belonging to it.
A4148804 - OK Computer - best album ever?
JuarezGriffin Posted Jun 3, 2005
Thanks a lot for your comments and advice everyone, I'll get round to removing that "I" soon enough! A lot of the other stuff is down to bad proofreading, which is rather shameful, especially "it's"! Thanks again.
A4148804 - OK Computer - best album ever?
Gnomon - time to move on Posted Jun 3, 2005
Don't feel embarrassed by mistakes! Just about everybody makes them. As long as you don't mind us pointing them out, they aren't a problem.
A4148804 - OK Computer - best album ever?
kitboyes Posted Jun 7, 2005
Let Down and hanging Around?
Great entry, and a subject that needed to be written about. I don't have any intelligent comment to make about it, but just was going to have a rant about something that got me. "Exit Music" is somewhat buried in the end credits of Romeo and Juliet - c.f. the extremely ctaching opening credits, with the lines of Shakespeare's chorus repeated 3 times, the end credits have the shrinking TV set, with the basic messgae - go home - before 'Exit music' ever plays. I wonder if this was in part because the message of the song is at odds with the movie - and for that matter, the end of the play as Romeo and Juliet almost cursing their families, 'Captain' Prince, and Verona; "we hope that you choke, that you choke"? just a thought, to try to explain why such a fine peice of music is left adrift in a movie that otherwise is very sensitive in it's handling of music.
Yeah okay, that's no help at all to you - great piece, well done.
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