In the time in which mankind has lived on this planet
Earth, he has created many evils. These include War,
Torment, Discrimination, Murder, the Spice Girls, Drugs,
Atomic Bombs and Baseball. But of all of these things, one
is by far the worst: Nappy Adverts.
Nappy Adverts are the most obscene form of pornography
imaginable, yet they are not banned and indeed, are even
broadcast during children's televison! Many of the horrors
included in Nappy Adverts are:
Close up Technicolour shots of babies' bottoms.
Dolby Digital Surround Sound sounds of babies wetting
themselves as well as excreting, followed by the delightful
giggle as they realise they have gone to the loo in the
Right type of nappy.
Let's face the truth... it is obscene, perverted, and should
not be allowed. Who wants to see naked children? Nappy
adverts are directly connected with crimes against children.
But that is nothing compared with the evil plot that
nappies have in store... World Domination!
Yes, it is true... nappies are out to conqueor the world.
Where before, in supermarkets, they used to put WCs, now they
build Nappy Changing facilities. Before long, the only way
to be able to go to the toilet is if you are wearing a
Imagine it... you are down the pub, you succesfully manage
to chat up the girl/guy of your dreams, and you get them
home and discover that not only aren't they wearing the
sexy lingerie that you'd imagined, but that they are
wearing a nappy. And a dirty one too. Life would be ruined!
The whole nappy advertising process is insidious... the
makers hope that by calling them 'diapers' in some
countries, no-one will notice what is happening until it is
too late to stop.
But there is hope. There is one man who can stop this
tragedy. Okay, he's a bird. There is one bird who can stop
nappies from destroying the planet, and turning dustbins
everywhere into abominable smell traps. And his name is
Peregrin... he's against nappy adverts and, if elected
President, won't let their evil prevail.
Face it... who would you rather have rule the world?
Peregrin? Or Nappy Makers?