h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: The Beatle's 'Lucy in th Sky with Diamonds'-Was it Really About Drugs? - A4044719
Author: DunlopVolley - U1519086

I hope this article is interesting enough to be added into the EG?

I would love feedback.

This is good.

I don't see any great problem with this getting into the guide. We'll see what other people say. If it is suitable, it can't be picked until it is in Peer Review for a week, so relax and enjoy the comments.

You've got a rogue apostrophe at one point. You say Beatle's when you mean Beatles.

You say "They said it to be". This should either be "They claimed it to be" or "They said that it was".

Thanks for the grammatical tips, i'll fix them up now.

Nice entry. Small but perfectly formed.

A couple of nit-picks, though:

At one point you have a Juliam, rather than a Julian. Who put those keys next to each other? It's their fault, obviously.

Also, the last sentence contains a personal pronoun. They aren't allowed in Edited entries, as per the <./>HouseRules</.>. You could easily rewrite the sentence to something like "Though the truth may never truly be known" and it would still work.

Oh, and I've just thought - if Lucy doesn't remember the picture, may it not have been mocked up in order to support Lennon's story?


Geggs

Thanks.

I fixed my typo and personal pro-noun problem, as well as putting a bit in about the possibility of the picture being a mock.

You often don't realise how many errors you make until others read it.

Oh, I know. The number of typos that often end up in my entries is quite horrifying.


Geggs

>> 'John claimed the "girl with kaleidescope eyes" of the lyrics to be Yoko Ono, however they had not met yet.'

It's pretty well documented that John and Yoko met in 1966 -- in November, if memory serves -- at the Indica art gallery, but they didn't 'go public' until late '68 or '69.

Very good topic for an entry. Not overlong, either, though I'm sure there will be plenty of comments on this.

Overall, I should hope to see this in the Edited Guide soon. Keep on truckin'

Oops!

it seems no actual date has ever been confirmed for their meeting, however many sources do say this. I'll change it. Sorry

Also adding in a bit I frogot about Alice in Wonderland.

Could I suggest a title change?

Drug Influences and The Beatles' 'Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds'

I agree that the entry needs a better title - but can we make it something snappy, rather than Jimster's boring suggestion?

I was stuck for a title, however that suggestion was possibly not right. Anyone with any ideas?

Bear in mind, DunlopVolley, that despite my flippancy, Jimster is one of the editors. His opinions count for a lot. But I'm sure we can outvote him.

Hmmm - Lucy, The Beatles, and Drugs.

I think it needs expanding a bit. Perhaps the first para could be expanded by mentioning Paul and John's arrests on drugs charges ?

I am about to add in a bit more about beatle/drug stuff, including stuff about the drug arrests. Will post when done.

Two things.

Firstly, whether you change the title or not, the title of the song needs to be changed in the title of the entry, as it currently reads 'Lucy in th Sky with Diamonds'.

Secondly, I would suggest having some kind of definition of psychedelia and what differentiates psychedelic music from other pop music, such as its surrealist lyrical content, and experimental structure.

Good article otherwise, though.

There! An updated and extended version is complete!

Since this is really taking shape, it is time to do some minor changes to the spelling and puctuation.

Remove the full stop after Sgt.

Move the comma after "Hearts Club Band" to after the tag.

the songs initials --> the song's initials

it's experimental sound --> its experimental sound

the picture was never wished to be released, however found by researchers for the book -- this is badly phrased. You should rewrite it.

"girl with kaleidoscope eyes" --> 'girl with kaleidoscope eyes'

Yoko Ono, however they --> Yoko Ono; however, they

they may or may not have met yet --> they might or might not have met yet

Lewis Carrol --> Lewis Carroll

Many similarities can be drawn from the book --> Many similarities can be found to the book

it's sequel --> its sequel

the Beatle's work --> the Beatles' work

Thanks for all the changes Gnomon!

It was such a fantastic help!

I have changed everything you brought up.