A Conversation for The Café Eclectic; Montclair, New Jersey
Review A402256 - Triv
vegiman:-) Started conversation Aug 1, 2000
Review A402256 - Triv
Hiya Triv
My grammar has a lot to be desired and I am not too great on spelling but here are a few nitpicking items I spotted which may improve your chances of having this accepted as a guide entry.
Nice work
vegiman
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how utterly out of place this hangout 'it'.
The last 'it' should be 'is'
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for those of *you* on the other side of the pond,
*You* and *I* should not be used - - Third person writing is prefered by h2g2 in guide Entries.
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Order *it* a la mode2
The *it* is not needed
just my quirk!
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If *you* don't want to actively listen *you* should go
Use of you again
Perhaps something like this
Anyone not wishing to actively listen
should go
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the wait staff
This is not a term I have heard of in the UK
the waiters and waitresses ?
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Last paragraph
You're, should not be used.
perhaps;
When in the New York... why not check out...
remove the why?
Review A402256 - Triv
Triv, Patron Saint of Merry-Go-Rounds; Maker of Sacred Signposts CotTB; Foxy Manor's Head Butler; ACE (GROOVY!) Posted Aug 1, 2000
thanks a lot Veg. I'll take care of the grammatical slips one I drink some ocffee and get a brain in my head.
Triv.
Review A402256 - Triv
Triv, Patron Saint of Merry-Go-Rounds; Maker of Sacred Signposts CotTB; Foxy Manor's Head Butler; ACE (GROOVY!) Posted Aug 1, 2000
ok dude, I've made the stylistic edits. See if they do anything for you.
Triv
Review A402256 - Triv
vegiman:-) Posted Aug 2, 2000
Just one point - the closing and personal remark is likely to be removed by sub editors.
See? Every once in awhile something wonderful does spring up in the suburbs.
Just once in awhile something wonderful springs up in the suburbs and The Café Eclectic is one of these... Well worth a visit.
otherwise - it looks good.
I will try and get a Sub Editor to give it the once over before putting it up for a recommend Guide Entry - it could take a few days.
It takes quite a while for it to go through the proccess - so why not get on with another article whilst waiting.
Give me a shout when you d
Catch you soon veg
Review A402256 - Triv
Triv, Patron Saint of Merry-Go-Rounds; Maker of Sacred Signposts CotTB; Foxy Manor's Head Butler; ACE (GROOVY!) Posted Aug 2, 2000
Thanks a lot dude, I appreciate the help and whatnot.
Speaking of which, I've got one more that's being totally ignored. It's not QUITE done, but I'd like some general feedback nonetheless.
http://www.h2g2.com/A404588
If you're busy it's no problem, whenever you get a chance just pop on by.
Thanks a lot.
Triv.
Key: Complain about this post
Review A402256 - Triv
- 1: vegiman:-) (Aug 1, 2000)
- 2: Triv, Patron Saint of Merry-Go-Rounds; Maker of Sacred Signposts CotTB; Foxy Manor's Head Butler; ACE (GROOVY!) (Aug 1, 2000)
- 3: Triv, Patron Saint of Merry-Go-Rounds; Maker of Sacred Signposts CotTB; Foxy Manor's Head Butler; ACE (GROOVY!) (Aug 1, 2000)
- 4: vegiman:-) (Aug 2, 2000)
- 5: Triv, Patron Saint of Merry-Go-Rounds; Maker of Sacred Signposts CotTB; Foxy Manor's Head Butler; ACE (GROOVY!) (Aug 2, 2000)
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