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Name: Tim Smith

Rank: Antarctic Correspondent Extraordinaire

Serial Number: U119367

Tim Smith is a 26-year-old male who lives in and around Madison Wisconsin USA when not in Antarctica. His dad works at the University of Wisconsin Madison as a project manager; Mom is a census taker now that the county cancelled their home-care nursing program. His brother is a cartographer for the Wisconsin Department of Natural Resources and last but not least, his little sister is studying to become an entomologist. Generally speaking he tends to work in computers as a tech or network admin but, in his work career, he has done everything from being a garbage man to professional Shakespearean actor.

Currently, he repairs telephones and cable TV on station in Antarctica. He owns no pets due to the fact that he instinctively runs from any responsibility including that of daily feeding and walking a fuzzy critter. He finds that his sister's dog is fun to play with though. He is a downhill skier and has worked four seasons as a ski instructor. Even though he has seven pairs of skis he is not addicted, stating that he can stop any time he wants, really. Last year he got into SCUBA diving, that's a blast. (Wonder how many air tanks and fins he owns??)

Now everyone is wondering just how one ends up working in Antarctica. Well, this is how; pay close attention if ever you have the urge to change jobs, this is a sure-fire way to do it up big time. At his last good job he had a pretty good thing going. He was working permanent part time and making more than enough money to cover his expenses. Tim was in charge of the computer network at a glass factory. One day he was offered a choice of moving to a full time salaried position, wearing a pager, and learning how to program an ancient IBM mainframe. Tim responded to this offer by saying that wearing a pager would conflict with my downhill skiing, so no deal. They said 'that's OK, train your replacement.'... he was nonplussed. Anyway, while he was surfing the web on company time he came across Antarctic Support Associates web page and saw they needed computer techs. So he sent in his application in early April. In August, after being unemployed for months, Tim had taken to working at a local university help desk to pay the bills, he finally got a phone call from ASA and they asked if he was still interested. Of course he said yes. So, after having a battery of medical tests, and his wisdom teeth pulled, they gave him the job. The US Antarctic Program likes people to be very healthy before they let them deploy south, due to the great difficulty of getting people to a hospital.

Over the summer season he was a computer tech and spent his time elbow deep in computers. He signed a winter over contract as a telephone tech in January, because the first two or three people that were hired chickened out and he had a couple hours of experience with phones. After his two weeks of 'R and R' he was sent to a one-week training seminar in Virginia Beach VA. He does, believe it or not, like it down there for the most part. The pay is reasonable and he has zero expenses now that his lease in Madison is expired. He finds that his only complaint is the shortage of single women wintering over. Sigh.

While inspecting his homepage, to find out a bit about the man I was going to interview, I noticed that he had a comment about his baldness. Being the curious type that I am, I just had to give him my thoughts on baldness, which is:
Bald people aren't really bald, their brains are just too big for their hair.

He responded to my comments by telling me that generally he does try to forget that he is bald but, when pressed, he states that people only get so much testosterone in their lives, and if you want to waste yours growing hair that's your business. Hehe! Guess he had a better response than I did LOL!

I also noticed, while rummaging through his page, that he was attempting to create the ultimate waffle. My curiosity once again got the better of me and I just had to find out how this attempt of his was progressing. Tim stated that so far so good on the experiments. At present he feels that the Ultimate Waffle might just be the Chocolate chip strawberry granola waffle,but he might be mistaken. On the other hand, if he could go back in time and never create one certain waffle it would have to be the artichoke hearts, very bad idea indeed.

I am sure that all of you have been keeping up with the weekly series Tim has been so kind as to allow us to print. Such an informative group of articles makes you feel as if you are really there yourself at times. I was wondering, though, if maybe all this attention was going to his head. He admits that it is nice to see his name in lights, but fame and fortune have stubbornly resisted coming his way because of it and so he is having a pretty easy time of not becoming a self centred, media obsessed, celebrity type. He does hope that his writings are popular, but really can't tell, he just hopes they are informative and enjoyable. (I can assure him that they are)

While being interviewed Tim made comment about a particular thread in h2g2 which helped him a great deal. It dealt with trying to keep from going insane. This thread is recommended as some fine reading if ever you find your sanity slipping through the cracks of your mind. Also, a pearl of wisdom; everyone has something that they remember and pass down as good advice: Tim's is this... 'STAY WARM!' Knowing where he is living at the moment I can fully understand where these words come from. I believe I would never step foot outside, of course I am quite the cold natured one to say the least.

Lastly, I was asked to print this short little note to any gorgeous, tallish, rich, redheaded woman between 20-30 years old that might just be reading this article.
'I get off the ice in October'


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