h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: H2G2 Researchers' DNA Moments - A38764038
Author: FordsTowel - U227087

I've had this entry in the Edited Guide Writing Workshop for a few weeks. This may not fit in the E.G., so I'm looking for some additions, or suggestions, on how to handle it. Perhaps it belongs in the UnderGuide or CAC?

I recently had an experience that gave me the idea to write an entry paying homage to Douglas Adams' ability to blend reality with fiction.

You could never tell, with Douglas, which stories were true and which were complete fabrications.

I describe the Railway Station event, lived by Douglas and recorded a happening to Arthur as he described the event to Fenchurch, as a DNA Moment.

I've begun the entry with mine, and had others join in. This could be ended now, or regularly updated with new items.

Any guidance is appreciated!

Hmmm, is anybody out there!!

Any ideas for a better title, additions, problems, or placement!!

I saw this entry a while back Ford and I sorta groaned in a " Geez, I don't want to really read this" kinda way and I didn't bother to read it.

I just did and to be honest it doesn't really interest me, although it does remind me of Jungs acausal theory of synchronicity for some reason.

So I'm sorry but I can't really offer anything to you I'm afraid.

Sorry, but I can't begin to see this as an EGE. It reads more like a vaguely amusing you-had-to-have-been-there collection of journal entries or something. What, to put it bluntly, is its *point*? What are you trying to achieve by it? (Meant as an honest question, because then maybe we can give you tips on how to make it go in that direction )

Thank you both!

You've validated my own thoughts, that this is not really a suitable subject matter or style for inclusion in the EG.

I guess that the intro was also not as clear as I had hoped it would read.

The first entry was a surreal incident that put me in mind of Douglas Adams' train station anecdote, and it occurred to me that there must be many examples of similarly surreal incidents.

I guess that they just don't seem as interesting when assembled like this, which speaks to DNA's genius at weaving them into his stories.

I'll be glad to remove it sometime in the next 24-48 hours, but I'm wondering if I should just delete it or is there someplace in the non-Edited Guide where it may fit?

Once again, thank you for your time and guidance!

Well. My main advice on trying to write like Douglas Adams is: don't.

But if you must, consider this:

The surprise endings to DNA's stories are exactly that - a surprise. Sometimes you think you know what it's leading up to, and it turns into something very different at the last moment. Your examples here are sometimes quite predictable.

Don't bore the reader with pointless detail. Do we really need to know you helped someone find a packet of arrowroot to understand that you misplaced your shopping trolley? Is it important where you bought that wrench, and, since its adjustability did not figure into the story, must you mention twice that it is? Pare it down to just the parts you really need - or the truly interesting ones - because otherwise the reader will be bored and annoyed by the time you get to the "punchline".

Build the tension carefully - know how to position your plot elements. If you start off by saying that you bought a wrench, the reader assumes that it will figure in the story, so later saying that it was a surprise to find it in the car *won't be a surprise to the reader*.

Douglas Adams' best heroes are anti-heroes. Arthur Dent is far from home and bewildered, dressed in his bathrobe and unable to get a decent cup of tea. And Dirk Gently can't even summon the courage to face his refrigerator! That's what makes us identify with them, because by laughing at them, we can laugh at ourselves. The anecdotes you've listed here aren't like that - they read more like a list of accomplishments. "I helped someone find their cooking ingredients, and impressed people with my knowledge of recipes, then saved a girl who had no money for batteries, and finally let everyone enjoy their weekend due to my foresight and skill with a wrench" - don't get me wrong, that kind of thing has its place, but it's not what Douglas Adams is about.

Make sure the story really is interesting. "We got lost and realised we were driving down the airport runway" sounds like a good start to a story - but when it continues "so we drove back out" that just leaves you wondering why you even bothered to read it! Reminds me of a comic I saw once, with a man telling his son "Then it started to rain, so we left Woodstock and went to help my aunt paint her kitchen. It was white, as I recall..."


Sorry, but at the moment, this entry utterly fails to grab my attention. Reads more like Reader's Digest than Douglas Adams. So no, don't delete it entirely, but do think about where you're going with it and how best to do it before you submit it anywhere else!

That sounded very negative, but I hope you understand it in the spirit it's meant - constructive criticism.

Oh, and you might want to get rid of the first person narrator. Not just because of the Writing Guidelines - this hardly conforms to the "norm" anyway, whatever that is - but so you can have a bit more freedom. Then it doesn't have to be a factual account of what happened, but you can, well, use them as starting points for standalone short stories.


What if you'd landed on the airport runway and found a top-secret offworld trade delegation just disembarking from a flying saucer?

Could the security guard's boss not have believe the "falling off" story and a couple of physicists and engineers who just happened to be in the audience have calculated how it could happen - using a piece of chalk and the parking garage floor?

Could the arrowroot man have taken your shopping trolley to pay for it all in thanks, and be waiting for you by the door?

Could the controller for the slideshow have been replaced by one that would make a joke presentation appear when pressed, with nobody confessing to playing the trick?


That's not meant as a list of concrete suggestions, just a hint that you could be more free to embellish if you didn't have to feel like you were *lying* because of the first person narrator. Or, see this A37676550

Hi again, Mal! Thanks for the very helpful review

Although I can't find fault with anything you said, and I agree that the EG is not the place for anything like this (kinda like I said at the beginning), perhaps a little explanation is in order before I actually remove it.

Heaven forbid I try to write like Douglas Adams; that was not the point. But, like one of the lines in Hitchhikers, sometimes the universe plays silly buggers with us. It was reality that I hoped might come off as sufficiently surreal, in special circumstances, to make a interesting read (whether I totally failed or not). Douglas' anecdote also falls, flat in its plain spoken form. It was, indeed, his ability to tell it in an interesting way that made it funny.

I can't take credit for all of the entries in the piece. When you ask for submissions, you can't be too selective.

True, my first entry did delve into detail. I failed in tying all the bits and pieces to the fact that I rarely get embroiled in conversations while shopping, much less three or four, and the feeling I had of having fallen down the rabbit hole.

The hero concept is great, but reality doesn't always see us that way. We're often the flotsam and jetsam of its whims. Again, these probably should have been, but weren't, attempts at story telling so much as they were describing of an unexpected and out of control event. My mistake. Perhaps I should revisit the entry as actual reality-turned-fiction stories with all the tension building, etc.

I did feel that Arthur's experiences read like a list of accomplishments, though.
* I'm the only human who escaped earth's destruction
* Whoops! I ran into the only other human who escaped the earth's destruction
* Hey! I saved our ship from dangerous missles (but was too humble to accept the accolades gracefully)
* etc., etc.

I also admit that Douglas' fictional account of his experience came off as funnier than his real life experience; but I found the real life experience even more surreal.

I absolutely appreciate the constructive criticism. Wouldn't have it any other way. Any failure in achieving my purposes is mine.

Unfortunately, the very nature of the piece sort of demanded a first person perspective. Take the first entry again, if someone had been following me around, and wrote the entry, they would have seen exactly when the buggy thing went wrong. Even less suspense or suprise.

For reasons that may be obvious, I don't want to go into my run-in with the flying saucer!

Thanks for re-acquainting me with the Tall Tales Primer I've got a few of those! They always sound plausible, whereas reality often doesn't. I must have something backwards!!


Thanks again, for all the valuable advice.

Good luck with it, whatever you decide to make of it. Just saying, it doesn't seem to be anything in particular at the moment, so if you nudge it more in one direction or another, you'll know where, if anywhere, it fits.

ho about creating a community page in the world of h2g2 and getting some more stories from it, you could tell people that their stories might be used as stimulus for creative writing and even get them to do some creative writing using theis own stories or the stories that other people have written.

Hey! Quite a nice idea mcm!

I'm going to remove it from Peer Review, as I never really expected that it should appear in the edited guide. I'll keep it, for now, as just that kind of fodder!

I didn't get any interest in the writing forum, so I'm still not sure that there is anyplace to put it.

Thanks for all the worthwhile comments, all!!