h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Natives can appear initially apathetic and very alien. Even with the aid of the trusty Babel fish communication can be difficult. Good conversation starters were found to be:

I like vector calculus.

tlhIngan Hol Dajatlh'a' - do you speak Klingon?

Where's the nearest coke vending machine?

Sex is relatively unknown concept in Imperial, with understandings varying from the latest Quake game to a type of wood wind instrument. If you're planning to engage with the endogenous females (not advisable, but some selfless researchers have to done so for the greater good), remember to heed Ford Prefect's advice: take a towel - the most useful thing one can have - as impaired vision will help the process go more smoothly and reduce emotional scaring due to retrospective consideration.

I'm going to this place in a month or so! (Seemed like a good idea at the time - like so many things...)
My fate is now sealed after (objectively) good A-level results all but destroyed my plans to move to Switzerland and become a ski instructor.
Any advice for the country boy from that elusive breed of Londoner or past student who feels it's ok to be associated with the guide? (I live in the Highlands BTW, which may or may not be advantageous...)

Oh yea, this is my first posting, so be gentle!!!

See, the article is useful already!!!

I'm a current student at Imperial. Advice? Don't bring all sorts of junk over from home, you can buy just about anything in London. Bring (or put into your account) twice as much money as you think you'll need as it still won't be enough. Get some drinking practice in so you won't seem like a wuss once you land here and find yourself surrounded by hard drinkers in halls.

Uh, that's it. Good luck!

bring your mountain bike - the IC MTB society are always looking for good new riders :o)

But some of the MTB folks are scary unshaved folks with long hair who occasionally wander into random lectures wearing bright yellow clothes...

erm and your point is what exactly?

you smell, fatso.

you smell, fatso.