h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

These are genuine famous last words:

Winston Churchill: "Time for lunch."
Florence Nightingale: "I feel better now."

(I haven't made these up.)

These aren't exactly last words as such, but close enough, Spike Milligan wanted his tombstone to read "I told you i was ill" and Billy Connoly says he wants his to be "Good Lord, is that the time?"

ah, tombstones. quite a lot have decided on this leonard cohen-quote for theirs: "like a baby stillborn, like a beast with its horn, i have torn everyone, who reached out for me"

on a lighter note: some american had his tombstone made ready decades before he went. it said something like his name, date of birth and and empty place for the day of his departure - and at the bottom of the stone: "scored 998 points in bowling on may 15th 1968"