h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Well, it's a beautiful day. Summer is not yet over, the trees are full of fruit, birds are singing sweetly and drinking outside always feels more decadent and less seedy!
So out here on this patch of slightly parched grass with its green slimed water feature and borders all colourful with discarded crisp packets I have set out some of those tables with the benches attached, blue plastic ashtrays and some Greene King Ale umbrellas in order to eke out those last few days of good weather.
So put aside your working lives, turn away from your monitors and come outside. The beer's on draught and I've ordered the wasps.
You know you want to.

Is there a barbeque? I'll come if there's a bbq. Tis my new mission in life to have one.

Very pretty border by the way.....

You mean you *still* want one after the hot-dog incident?

I want one of the gas pack ones for your tail gate parties and cooking on the balcony!!! (as the advert said) Go get me one, boy, and I'll be nice!

Oh I like the look of this - wasps or no wasps

Something icy cold, long and refreshing please

Beer? Cider with ice? Vodka and cranberry?

Imagination has run out now. ?

As long as the drinks haven't run out we're OK

How about some rose wine with a smidge of lemonade in it to make it all a bit lambrini-ish? I'm in that kinda mood!

It looks like my garden out here!

I think it's the parched grass the slimy water feature and the crisp packets that do it

Never going to happen dear boy! D'you want some of this fizzy stuff ? I've got plenty. Got Polly staying with me but she keeps saying she's going to bed. Lightweight!

Lambrini?

Blimey, you'll be dancing 'round your handbag next Deaks

I haven't got a handbag. Got a huge great rucksack I could dance round if you like.

I think I'll stick to some of the good ol' beery ones


All those fizzy ones just make me burp

Bed's a gas monster.
Giggle.

You can only dance round your rucksack if it's white

Na, tis black. Like most other things in my wardrobe.
That reminds me, I must let that man out of my wardrobe.

Well the bit is right anyway

What was he doing in your wardrobe?


May be I don't want to know

I'm off to bed!

'Night all

Yep, me too. I'll take him a cheese toastie to tide him over till morning.