h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I know. It truely boggles the mind.

*walks around with her arms firmly held away from Spaceboy*

*frowns, mopes a little*
Don't worry... I think that amputation would then breed its own problems... I'm perfectly safe (or at least mostly harmless)

*holds up hands to show lack of bloddy saw*

I think you might be onto something. What about, instead of a hole to insert your arm into, a soft 'groove' that would permit you to slide your arm under your loved one? It would keep their weight off of you, while allowing circulation to continue unhindered?
It might not even have to be a physical opening in the mattress; it could be a groove that is filled with a very soft and pliable foam or something that didn't 'squeeze' your arm when it was in there...

Let me know if you ever build a 'prototype'

It's a good idea. The only problem I can see with that is that at some point someone is going to lay on the "squishy arm" part and sink. Even if it's only a little it could make for an uncomfortable spot in the bed.

The hole enables you to tuck your arm under your partner without compromising the integrity of the bed (provided it includes a replacement bit for when you're not using the hole).

Now all we need is a name for our wonderful bed contraption (It's the marketer in me talking)
Oh, and I agree with you about the whole dipping thing... unless you could open or close the dip with a button or something...

spaceboy

Two options here! Two of those beds used by massueseseses (I can't spell massures/masswhos you know those peole that pour oil over you and beat the daylights out of you) they use tables you can lie face down on and examine their flooring. Same as used by osteopaths (I can spell that). Position two together and put offending arm through the hole.

Alternatively put two single beds together and lie under a double quilt with spare arm down gap between beds searching the fluff on the floor for any left over pizza.

In reality the under the pillow is the position we find best and yes we do discuss and possibly try the other ridiculous alternatives like lying with spare arm held over pillow folded back over owners head so you can hail a taxi before you fall asleep.

Or.. lie in the recovery position with arm behind your back where restless fingers can scratch your own behind.

Or.. as we usually do, fold arm up so elbow is in the small of partners back and you can still scratch, with both hands, the itch that began with partners hairs getting up your nose. At the same time the slight air gap overcomes the overheating problem on warm nights and if your partner begins to snore while you think there still taking in every bit of exciting information tha you have been telling then about for the last hour, you can pretend to do one of those involuntary jolts that wake you up just as you fall asleep. The elbow in the back makes certain your partner pays attention next time.

For those cosey snuggles on cold night, the arm under the pillow wins every time though.

My thoughts on the matter.

Spooning is great fun,
Lots of hugs and snuggling,
Curse that useless arm!

Get two single beds,
Combine them for arm comfort,
Don't fall through the gap.

But, amputation,
May be a little extreme,
Bloody stumps aren't sexy.

What's the solution?
Perhaps a gel filled arm groove?
Or, a simple hole.

We must research more,
Before we can claim to have,
Found a solution.

Zeitgeist (still going)

how does one respond to a haiku? (or several for that matter)

You can do what I do and sit here in the corner feeling poetically inferior. It's a pretty warm corner.

Hmmm... how to respond?
That's a real connundrum,
Try to write one, too?

Just give it a go,
Have a lot of synonyms,
At your disposal.

Don't worry about,
Them being perfect for now,
I know mine are not.

Perhaps have a look,
At the haiku article,
Link is at my home.

I did not set out,
To make people feel sad, bad,
or inferior.

So, come on out of,
That nice warm corner of yours,
And join in the fun.

Zeitgeist.....

but what if there is a mouse under the bed waiting to eat any fingers which are stupidly let dangle down the gap between two single beds?

could be a major disaster because it would reveal wimpyness when screaming after being bitten by an unknown creature.

FABT

Move over... *sits down in corner with Krissy* that's better...
maybe should try nursary rhymes over here in our corner

Ummmmmm... let's seee.....

Teddy said it was a hat,
So I put it on.
Now daddy's sayin',
"Where the heck's the toilet plunger gone?"

How's that?

Yuck! Toilet plungers,
Being worn as hats you say?
Hygiene is needed.

As long as it is,
Just a small nursey rhyme,
No harm will be done.

I'm still shuddering,
At the thought of used plungers,
Being used as hats.....

Ugh...... Zeitgeist......