h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Ask the cow.

I already asked you.

Go to the evil army armory. There's a link on my page.

Too far. Just tell me.

S.A.L.T.S. is a very multipurpose thing. It heals wounds, can revive someone who's unconscious, set bones, dissolve stickyness, ect.

I see.

but what does it stand for...?

Simulated Astronomically Large Teaspoon of Stuff.

Simulated?

it was artificially created in my lab.

Then it can't REALLY do anything? It can only simulate doing things...

no it does everything but it is a artificially created substance. You can't go out and mine it. Only i know the recipe but apparently i give out liberal amounts of the stuff to the cow.

no...the stuff at the end means it can do anything...but we really just use it in comic ways...like rubbing SALTS in the wound, or in my latest use, covering a body in SALTS to preserve it for EvilClaw...(well...that was a side effect...as you know I was trying to revive him...)

Anything salt can do S.A.L.T.S. can do better. Smelling salts, rubbing salt into wounds, salt kills slugs (a very sticky substance in its acronym form).

S.L.U.G.S. (Satirically Large Ultra Green Slime)...

it sticky.

You guys are so bright.

so that's why EvilClaw was wearing a lamp shade on his head...

Yes. because i was horribly drunk. Happy?

I thought it was someone could... oh, never mind, I already used that one.