h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Was going to post a post(?) But realised that our gardens are so far apart, or perhaps its just our climes. You still need good soil, good compost, and the right kind of weather for your type of plants though dont you? So if you just forget that i grow plants in an area where we are blessed with a soil type and weather pattern which is conducive to growing things that you couldn't grow with out a Greenhouse, we will get on. I would love to be able to grow some classic English style plants and prepare garden beds for the incoming new Bulbs. Alas things like Daffodils, Tulips and the like, just dont like warm humid tropical weather ! The upside is that stuff that would never grow over your side of the world, just grows an grows an..err bloody well grows! Pineapples, you buy a fresh one off a man on the side of the road who sells them(here i mean , not where you are) you cut the top off it and peel it an then eat the fresh pineapple. The spikey top of the fruit you then go and place in a bed somewhere and then stomp on it and push it into the soil. Thats its basically, just treat the damm thing with disrespect and a certain aloofness for the next 2 years(yes, that long) and it will turn itself into a brand new Pineapple for your enjoyment. With in reason you can be particularly nasty to a pineapple and it will still turn into a party trick for you! Watch me while i go and pick a fresh pineapple from my small stock of extant ..err..pineapples! and i will slice.dice and juice it for you!!! Works everytime to the accompaniment of lots of Ohh's and Ahhh's. Enuff!!..cheers