h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Ok. I've booked the tickets, and the taxi (driven by my Mum) is on the way to pick you up.......

I'm not vegan, you know that I'm addicted to cheese and chocolate, right? And I have to say that recently I ate some fish. Ack. Don't kill me. I feel really really bad now. Probably got about 7 years worth of bad Karma for that.

The trouble is, if I want to feed the kids a balanced diet and not have them eat meat, I'm living in the wrong country. But maybe I'll renew my membership of the Vegetarian Society. Ah hell, I may as well admit I'm here until they carry me out in a box and join the German one. If I can find it. That would probably double their membership (I wonder if that really really famous German veggie is mentioned on their letterheads.... you know, the small dark haired chappie with the Charlie Chaplain moustache) but I digress.

Saskia has recently started asking about dead people. Mick's dad, my grandma, our old cat (sob sob) and the rabbit. I'm having trouble getting her to understand that it happens to everyone/thing, and that they're not coming back. Now she thinks I'm going to pop my clogs on her. How did you cope with that? I'm sure Mair was asking about that at an early age if she understood about being veggie. Saskia goes to a church run Kindergarten (proddy) because there are only 2 here and the other one rejected her because we're not Catholic (didn't dare tell 'em Mick _is_ Catholic!) They haven't told them any bible stories, but I think that when they're about 5 they touch on the subject of death, and a bit about the church. Which I want her to learn about, but also other stuff too. (met some nice witches on the 'net, you'd probably like them!)

Have you spoken to Mair about sending mails to this chappie? What did she say? It must be really difficult for teenagers nowadays to work out when it's a bit too much. I mean, in our day (grannies as we are) it was the phone (ha!) or face to face or notes. I didn't have the energy to persue boys, but now... well I'd find it a lot easier to send mails. Do you think a 13 year old boy would be sophisticated enough to try to "brush her off" by saying he had a virus? How is she these days, anyway? Exams? Still watching the Dragonball Z thing (I saw a clip the other day, first time! I can't say I understood it)

Ho hum. Back to earning a crust!

I know what a worry it is about feeding your kids an adequate diet, especially when living in an unfriendly-to-veggie-diet-environment. New Zealand wasn't exactly veggie friendly either, what with their whole economy based on meat and dairy products.

However, there is quite a large Asian population, so I had access to lots of lovely fresh tempeh and tofu and my parents used to send food parcels containing Mair's favourite vegan burgermix from the UK, which the NZ Customs & Excise nearly always used to open (slitting the sachets too would you believe).

I always had the policy of being as honest as I could with any questions about reproduction and death with Mair (in terms that I thought she'd be able to comprehend) and have found that she's accepted whatever I've said. As far as religion goes, I've explained that some people believe in a deity and have churches, etc but have then told her that John and I are atheists and why. So far Mair hasn't succumbed to the mental pummelling received in school or from my parents and remains an atheist and proud to be so. In fact, a few years ago and at age ten, she put up a very good defence when my father attempted to tell her that there was a life after death and I was very proud of Mair.

Sadly, Mair has seen enough pets die over the years and has also recently experienced the deaths of family members from my parents' generation and although upset at the time, seems to be quite matter-of-fact and able to discuss the topic. Hopefully, she's turning out to be a well-rounded individual. (It is different with Chis though who due to his autism, finds abstract concepts difficult to comprehend and he keeps wanting to dig the "departed" pets up in the hope that he will get them back! Ugh! Poor lad!)

Mind you, when it comes to discussing boys and sex with her mother, that's all very "uncool" although I hope that when Mair gets over this awkward puberty thing, that she'll be able to discuss these things with me more fully should she ever feel the need to. I do hope that she discusses such topics with her girl friends at least.

What we're going to do with Chris in a couple of year's time on the subject of sex, doesn't bear thinking about...

I don't know whether Mair has spoken with this young lad in "chat" any more, as she hasn't mentioned him at all and I haven't asked either.

By the way. I've been waiting for the car you mentioned, driven by your mum to turn up and whisk us all off to the Greek Islands and am beginning to wonder whether it has been abducted by aliens!

Re. Mair and "the talk": I've not had "the talk" from my mum yet, and when I asked why not she said she was waiting for it from hers! I hope Mair and her girlfriends to talk about stuff like this - we never did when I was a teenager, and now I wish we had. Mind you, we'd have benefitted from the mums of a few of the lads we know talking to them about women too! Good luck to you with Chris, btw. That's not going to be easy, but you're more than up to the task.

The veggie thing here is not easy. But what's making me really cross is that Saskia's Kindergarten does this "healthy breakfast" thing. They have been told (they = parents) not to send cold meats (especially the sliced sausage which is as important as breathing to Germans) because of F&M and Mad Cow disease. So I sent some Veggie pretend stuff, and was asked not to because it was confusing the kids! Good point, but I don't want Saskia just eating cheese. Sheesh!

My mum got sidetracked by Stargate SG-1 and Voyager. So she's not going anywhere until at least after the end of Voyager. Have you been watching? the 7 of 9 show more like. Still, at least I get to letch Daniel Jackson right after (and Col. O'Neill, come to think of it). And now it seems we can have Digital TV (don't tell anyone though) after all, so I won't be missing out on any of this stuff, and getting the Sci-Fi channel back. Woo hoo!

Try to keep a "stiff upper lip re the veggie thing and the girls' kindergarten. It'll all come out in the wash (eventually!) and for heaven's sake, don't ask me what I meant because I might start to cry!

Yes, I've been watching Voyager, Farscape (excellent series that one) and First Wave too. Oh and Buffy too! I'm waiting for the new series of Andromeda to start again and the new Lexx series 4 should be around pretty soon as well.

Good luck with getting the Sci-Fi Channel reinstated a.s.a.p.

We recently started to watch Ultraviolet and were surprised to find that it's a British series and very good. Have you seen any episodes at all?

Kindergarten is Mick's business, I only nosey in when it's absolutely necessary. bad mummy!

Voyager tonight, but I have to admit that now I'm totally besotted with Stargate, I can't wait for it to be over. How sad does that make me? But the guy who plays DanielJackson is truly gorgeous.... he's coming up in the new eps of Andromeda.... get's pretty naughty with Andromeda's avatar (or is it atavar, I can never remember). Of course, as far as Andromeda is concerned... oh, I'm not going there, I don't want to get all faint and breathless in the office... I think you know who I mean though! Slurp (still got your pic of him)

What's Ultraviolet about? Which channel? When I get digital tv I'm going to have to start popping uppers, I'll have to be awake 24 hours a day to watch all the stuff I want to see. I can't wait for the History channel and the Biography channel. Mick thinks I'm joking, but he's in for a shock!

Ho hum. Time for a and some (when what I really want is a and a !) for me, then it's back to work....

"Ultravoilet" in on the Sci-Fi channel at 9.00 p.m., Wednesday nights and it's sort of a bit like the X-Files with vampires in place of the aliens and "dark powers that be". Even better is that it's British!

Did you see last night's episode of Voyager???

*Still swooning over Chakotey and decides she's a truly sad git!*

I finished my City & Guilds Level II Word Processing exam yesterday (don't know when I'll get the result) and start on Level II Spreadsheets this afternoon.

Oh wasn't Voyager good!? Great stuff. Although a bit cringemaking, I've been dribbling over Chakotay for ages now. I'm glad Mick wasn't in to see it with me, I had a cushion clamped to me and was almost champing at the bit.

Then, oh joy, not one but two (TWO!) episodes of Stargate. Yum yum. I've only watched one, so I'm watching again tonight, then tomorrow on German 2 episodes also... Now who's the sad git? Me, of course!

Yaaayyyy for finishing the exams - do we get to go out boozing now? I love the end of exams!

Not sure that I'd like Ultraviolet - I'm not really keen on the X-Files... too much shadowy background stuff for me. And no letch. ha ha

Nope, there's definitely nobody to letch after on Ultraviolet. But I do rather like David Duchovney (Mulder) in the X-Files...

What do you think it is about Chakotay that's so drool inducing? He's not exactly stunning to look at (although I adore his eyes, smile, voice, hair, tattoo...). Do you think the character Robert Beltran plays or the entire "package"?

I found the first pilot episode of "Dark Skies" in a junk shop at the weekend. Did you ever watch that series? I can't believe they scrapped it!

Oh good grief! Look at me, carrying on like a demented teenager! Let's go out and celebrate that I've got one exam down and only another two to go (Before I start on Level 3 or PowerPoint anyhow!).

Hi Fellow-Teenager-Trapped-In-A-Grown-Up-Body,

There's nothing wrong with swooning over tv guys. Is there? I can't put my finger on it with Chacotay, he does have very beautiful eyes and hands... I always notice the hands (which is why I love Daniel Jackson and Eric Clapton too), and his voice... drool drool (where's the drooling smiley when you need it?) But I think it's the fact that he's in touch with his inner self (not to say he really looks like he could give a girl a good time, and a real knee trembler to boot!)... got to stop this, I'm at work! Voices always get me going... I mean Captain Picard ain't exactly a pin up is he, but I wouldn't kick him out for eating biscuits! (Saw Robert Beltran in Chips or Walker Texas Ranger not long ago, very young, very slim... didn't do a thing, so it must be more a combination of the looks and the character and that tatoo)

I didn't see Dark Skies, what's it about? Talking of scrapping shows, I'm starting to panic about Stargate... I'll just be left with Andromeda then... or maybe this new Star Trek thing (Enterprise?) will fill the void. Hope there's some letch in it... oops, there go the hormones again!

Had beer and broccoli pizza last night to celebrate your exam, when's the next - the pizza was rather good AND (gasp!) brought to my door!

Are you ready for the school holidays? (sorry if you don't want to be reminded of them) are you going to get away at all? (you lot are welcome here, btw, if you can put up with the Gruesome Twosome - and I'm not talking about the cats!)

Thanks for the invitation and I really wish that we could take you up on it but lack of funds and having a houseful of pets doesn't help with the getting away thing.

We are however hoping to ask John's mum (Joyce is recovering from her hip replacement operation very well indeed) to pet sit for a couple of days whilst we take the kids to Scotland to search for Nessie! Most of the time, we just take the odd day trip to somewhere or other although with Mair being at the teenage mutant sulk-a-lot stage, she doesn't want to come with us anymore, which makes things slightly difficult and I had to leave John home and take Chris out on my own last year.

If you're after a new Sci-Fi series to follow, you really MUST check out Farscape, although it might be difficult to get into for a few episodes if you haven't watched it from the beginning.

By the way, I treated myself to an extravagantly priced (£4.00) "Star Trek" monthly magazine yesterday, which was a Voyager finale special edition and it gives a full episode synopsis for all episodes, right up to and including the finale. Apparently, next week Q reappears but I won't say more in case you don't want to know. Even better is that next month's issue carries a cover picture of Robert Beltran with a full interview inside!

I have a mock exam and final assessment at the end of each module, the courses being split into three modules (word-processing, spreadsheets and databases), so my next exam will be when I have finished my Level 2 Spreadsheets module.

Pity you can't come, believe me, I know how it is. I get quite good money but it's going into the black hole of an overdraft/loan we ran up when I was off with the kids for 3 years. Good news is Mick starts a new job soon in a rather Chic place in Düsseldorf, as head chef. So maybe I'll get over to uk with the kids by the end of the year... if so, maybe I can come up? I'll have to go to (cough) Middlesborough (cough cough) anyway to visit the outlaws!

Maybe you could reach a compromise with Mair, offer a choice of venue for a day out, then maybe one time she could stay home (If you're not too far away?) my parents used to do that with me. Mind you, I just sat in my room and either read or listened to music or both. Although, usually we all went fishing (yeuch) but I sat in a corner reading and listening to music (before Walkman things were generally available to the non-filthy-rich). Then if it goes ok you could try it again sometime. It's hard on everyone to have a sulky teenager around - and I'm sure Christopher likes having her around? Teenagers, oh heck, only about 10 years to go and I'll have 2!

Farscape starts again (from ep 1) in German in the autumn I think. So I'll try and get a peek, it's not the same when it's not in English though. I've seen a few eps of Voyager (early ones) in German that I'd seen already in English and it's yukky. Also saw some Stargate early eps only in German, then spoke about them on the 'net and I'm sure half of it flew right by me. Sigh. But since we're deffo not coming back to UK I'd better get used to it.

Just thinking of Andromeda tonight - yum - and still trying to recover from Stargate on Monday in which my bit of letch had bare feet most of the time. Swoon!

Um, if the weather's not too good and the purse stretches, Chris might like a film called Help! I'm a . Or maybe not, you'll have to see, it's about some kids who turn into a fish, a starfish and a jelly fish. There are some bad guys (evil fish Joe, a shark and some Army Crabs stomping around) Maybe he'd find it a bit wierd or scary, sorry, maybe a bad suggestion. It's just that it's not a Disney - and a friend of mine was one of the animators. Ho hum. Just an idea!

Oh I hate Q... still, Voyager has picked up a bit, do you know how many eps are left? I have the chance to see what happened because I chat on a Delphi forum which belongs to a Sci-Fi guide website. They posted a synopsis and had a good chat about it. So far I haven't looked in that conversation, but I'm busing to know what happens.

Which spreadsheets program are you using? Every day I fight with Excel, but actually I love it. Mick has been babysitting for a friend of mine (daughter is now 2) while she gives computer lessons at an adult teaching centre, and some one on one private lessons. She has paid him with computer lessons. So now he knows how to use the thing he looks over my shoulder and says things like "Gaby doesn't do it like that" or "here, let me show you a quicker way to do this" aarrggghhh! I'm self taught, you see.

I'll email you a reply as this as I have to finish burning the dinner right now...