The  Post
Christmas  Poetry  Competition 
  2004

A Vogon Christmas is the cry I hear

To celebrate the moment of the year

But do Vogons celebrate in Crimbo cheer?

I have to make a pause there I fear.

Do Vogons sit around the fire bright

And sing and talk into the night

Waiting wrapped in bed so tight

For presents to fall into sight?

Do mummy Vogons cook the feast

Hustle family to hear the priest

They must take the time at least

To hear the local poetry artiste!

Alas alack I do not think

That Christmas hides that Vogon stink

And so I have to put into ink

The great world Vogon hoodwink!

Christmas is for celebration

Giving thanks for God's creation

And though they orbit in their station

I don't think Vogons will join the nation.

We'll knock back drink and finely dine

Breaking open last year's wine

And without Vogons do just fine

For their poems we don't have time.

A poorer use of the sacred word

I have to say I've never heard

I hope you will not think me forward

To not invite their barding lizard

I prefer not to dine in fear

Of losing part of each ear

For Christmas is a time for cheer

Besides they might eat Santa's best reindeer!

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