Christmas Poetry Competition 2004
The Great Hootoo Christmas Mystery by Recumbentman
Who took the turkey, the pudding and pies?
Whoever it was, it was not very nice.
The family sits in a puddle of gloom,
As aspersions are cast, back and forth, round the room.
The dinner's been stolen, some rotter has grinched it,
And somebody here knows exactly who pinched it.
Some B has been bad, bagged the bird, done a bunk
Some shady chai wallah or felonious monk.
O gosh! Not a single French bean on the plate!
There's a couple's been acting suspicious of late.
And what of Aunt Trillian? She looks a bit shifty.
She's gone a bit bonkers now, since she turned fifty.
Not Gnomon? Or Sho? Could it be that bald bloke?
What would he have done with it? Sold it for coke?
We're gobsmacked. We're stunned. Still, it needn't be missed:
There's plenty of booze, we can go and get provisions.