h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

An interesting beginning! It seemed as if nothing was happening and yet I never found myself getting bored or waiting for something to happen. I felt like I was being promised something to comew and it was worthwhile to absorb this background first. Then I realised that things had been happening, that a life was lost and all this is really a fairly profound description of grief. On a personal level it made me wonder and sympathise with the author and then feel some satisfaction in the author's ability to express and share such emotions and the details that halo them.

From a purely critical point of view:
I like the way you are using shorter sentences but this series:
"My husband was a farm manager. He was born and raised in the country, in a village not too unlike the one we lived in now."
could really be shortened with a comma after 'farm manager' and deleting the 'He was..". This would eliminate some of the emphasis on 'was' being repeated.

And I don't like the name 'Joe'. It has a ring of children's games when they are so busy enjoying their play they don't exercise their imaginations enough to create a 'Purcell' or a 'Dennis' and call every working stiff 'Joe'.

Other than that I really like it from a 'writers' point of view, even though the subject matter is hardly a pleasure trip. I do hope the journey will be worth it. I am fairly heavily invested in the emotions of our poor Louise and her dog and I really hope things turn out better for them. In other words you have an excellent opening for a real tear-jerker of a romantic novel.

I'll look forward to more.

peace
~jwf~

(BIG HUG) I really, really appreciate your comments! Thank you! I'm enjoying writing it. And some of the ideas are kind of developing on their own. I'm not sure if I can pull this off - but I'm going to try! It's kind of different to anything I've tried before. Hopefully I'll get the final part finished in the next few weeks. I'll let you know when I do. Romantic novel eh? What me? LOL!

Snow eh? It was hot and humid here today. Lots of people are arriving for the Grand Prix! Who do you think will win it this year? My money is on Lewis. He's cute too!

Talk soon,

Pauline XXX