h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*rapidly approaching*

*The noise intensity grows as the distant dust cloud approaches*

*TheMonster purrs to a halt across the way from the Ice Cream Van.*

After you, Lady Kristina.

*Pond_Rat holds the beast steady while Kristina disentangles herself from the pillion seat and Pond_Rat... *

*..rather reluctantly*

*takes off helmet and pulls fingers through hair*

Halloo? Anyone around?

Nope, obviously not..

*rummages in jacket pockets, produces pen and paper, writes a note, fastens it to the side of the ice cream van with a piece of chewing gum*


We are looking for a second-hand fridge/freezer
Please let us know if you can help us find one

The Bikers Rest A734249


*puts helmet on again, climbs up behind Pond_Rat*

Right, off we go!

Well Mi'Lady, where wouldst thou have me take thee now?

Perhaps we could stop by the University at C573, you never know what we may find at C677 the Student Union Bar .. specifically A338870

or maybe you'd prefer to start with something else?

I used to work here, before I got demoted.

Take whatever you want, the boss is hardly ever around these days.

Thanks Linda,

Am curious as to what one is demoted to from Ice-Cream vendor? Unemployed presumably

Kristina, perhaps we should drop by with the Truck later on just in case

I think she was demoted to an Italic..

Yes, I think we'll come back here with the truck later - but we still need a stove - do you think the Student Union Bar is the right place to look for a spare one?

Let's go and have a look around at least - I'm getting thirsty!
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What's going on? What's all this shouting? We'll have no trouble here. Oh, they've gone.

I don't remember demoting you, hon. You're still a valued member of the team. Now get your apron on, the sun's out.

Sounds like a proposition to me.

I said "on", not "off". Filthy devil.

Oh yes. And I didn't misunderstand. I though we were going to play 'shopkeepers'. Or am I terribly confused?

Yes, but that's pretty much standard around here.

Anyway, we don't have any customers, so what shall we do now?

I'm stuck for ideas, what do you suggest?

Dunno about you, I was watching the footie.
Any customers yet?

I think they are all watching the football. Bloody football, I hate it.

Well, it's finished for today, so there should be a rush of customers any minute now.

*waits*

Ah, that'll explain the sudden peace that came over the office when everyone turned the damn TVs off. Will you warn me if there are anymore games likely to be on in the daytime? As I'll be taking a very long lunch...


*waits for customers*


*starts eating the stock*

They'll be doing another one about the same time tomorrow. But you'll have an easy journey to work on Friday morning - England v Brazil, kick off 7:30 am.

Stop eating the stock! What am I going to make gravy out of now?