How to Make a Hole-In-One

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First off...

Readers should notice that this entry is not titled 'How to Hit a Hole-In-One'. The author of this piece is very bad at golf and restricts his club choice to a pitching wedge only. In this case, a hole-in-one, also known as a gashouse egg or a bullseye egg, refers to a delicious combination of fried egg and toast. Those looking for swing tips and hints on teeing off should look elsewhere.

On to the Food

The secret of the hole-in-one is a secret passed from generation to generation. The recipie is as simple as cooking an egg. Plus, it eliminates from your breakfast routine the tedious step of making toast. Think of it as wrapping a piece of bread around an egg. It requires only an egg; a slice of bread; butter, margarine, or no-stick cooking spray; a frying pan; a spatula and a stove.

  1. Prepare the pan so the egg won't stick to it. This means either melting butter or margarine in the bottom of the pan or spraying it with cooking spray. Make sure the entire frying surface is coated or the egg will break when you cook it.

  2. Prepare the bread so it won't stick to the pan. If you sprayed the pan thoroughly with cooking spray, this step can probably be skipped unless the surface of the pan isn't particularly smooth. Otherwise, lightly spread butter or margarine on both sides of the bread.

  3. Start heating the pan on the stove on medium heat. Cooking times and temperatures will vary with equipment; in this case it's better to have the pan not warm enough than too hot.

  4. Make the 'hole' for the hole-in-one in the center of the bread. It should be about the size of an egg yolk, about 2 inches across. To be sanitary, you can carve the hole with a knife. If you don't want to dirty a knife, you can carefully fold the bread in half and bite the hole.

  5. When the pan is warm, crack the egg and pour the contents into the center of the pan1.

  6. Position the hole in the bread over the egg's yolk in the pan and press the edges of the bread down with the spatula being careful not to disturb the yolk. The egg will soak in and cook itself to the bread.

  7. After the egg has cooked for a few minutes and you can see the yolk starting to solidify, use the spatula to flip the egg and the bread together.

  8. Finish cooking the egg to your tastes. The hole-in-one is done when the egg is done. If you want a runny yolk that can be soaked up with the bread, you may be able to serve the hole-in-one once the top of the yolk has been sealed. If you want a solid yolk and more toasty bread, cook the hole-in-one longer on both sides.

And that's it. When the hole-in-one is sufficiently cooked, put the entire thing on a plate and eat it. If you avoided dirtying a knife in step four and aren't cooking more hole-in-ones2 for your friends, you can eat it right out of the pan, thus saving another dish. Try washing down your hole-in-one with cold orange juice; it's delicious.

Bonus: The Hole-In-One Sandwich

To make your hole-in-one even better, flavor it like an omelette. Cook two hole-in-ones and put a slice of cheese between the egg sides. Add tomatoes, cooked ham or bacon, green peppers, onions, or more cheese. The heat from the still-warm bread and egg will melt the cheese, which will in turn hold the meat or vegetables in place. Some might choose to eat theirs with ketchup or mayonnaise, and this will be looked down upon by others, but do what you like. It's your hole-in-one.

1If you need extra calcium in your diet, try to leave some shell fragments in the pan, though not too big as you don't want to choke.2Or is that holes-in-one? Holes-in-Ones? Hole-in-Two?

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