Smudger Snippets
Created | Updated Nov 25, 2004
I suppose it's because I have so much time on my hands these days, that all these memories come flooding back to me.
A Shot in the Dark
This rather amusing memory came back to me just the other night when I was watching a television programme about police drawing guns from their armoury.
They had to line up to check their weapon and sign for it after recording the number of the gun issued. In fact it is very like the time, way back in the early seventies when I did exactly the same, yet it made it feel like it was yesterday.
We have to go way back in time to when I was in the RN serving in the Persian Gulf on board a frigate. Our job, at the time, was to patrol the Gulf and to stop and search any Dows that we came across. The reason for this was that there was a lot of gun and drug running going on at the time, along with other weapons that were stripped down and hidden on board. Dows are the common type of wooden boats that are still used today. They are normally sailing boats, yet it was quite common for us to come across ones that were fitted with Russian diesel engines which would be started for their quick get away as soon as they saw that they had been spotted.
With this in mind, along with the fact that these Dows always sailed in groups, we had instigated a plan of action. Part of this was to have our small, rubber, Gemini power boats ready to go at short notice. These boats were loaded with our marines who would catch up with and force the Dows to stop. Even then it was still necessary at times to lower our own boats, crewed with sailors, if the group of Dows was a large one. Some of us had extra training and, indeed, were called boarding parties, just for that very reason. Our frigate had a gas turbine engine that could be started up at a moments notice to increase our speed if required to catch up with these Dows after they were spotted. While we made our way towards them our divers would be preparing to dive under the Dows to inspect the underside, as it was quite common to find munitions or drugs wrapped in condoms and nailed to the Dows' hull.
The only drawback with all this routine was that, in order for everyone to be at their set stations in short notice, the ship had to go to action stations every time these Dows were spotted. When we had been on patrol for a couple of weeks, we had gone to action stations many times both during the day and night; this left us all extremely tired and edgy. I was unlucky enough to be selected for this boarding party and shore party training prior to our leaving the UK. Looking back on it now, we must have appeared to be a joke to the crew of these Dows. Our uniform consisted of a steel helmet (as per WW2 issue) our normal shirt and shorts, with boots and gaiters. Our equipment included a webbing belt holding two spare magazines of 9mm rounds, a torch clipped on to our shirt pocket and a bottle of water. We also carried our 9mm sub machine guns with two clips taped together. To be honest I do not think we looked threatening in any way to these Arab crews, as they always used to smile at us when we got up to them.
As I said earlier this tactic soon tired us all out, as we could be called out up to six or seven times a day including the night, so the funny side of it all had left us a long time ago. It was early in the afternoon on a scorching hot day when the alarm went off for what was our third trip of the day so far. The ship changed course and increased speed sharply, leaning us all to one side, as we all ran to our usual stations. There I was down in the armoury signing for my weapon and rounds, only to be racing up to the upper deck a moment later. Now this group of Dows we caught up to was a large one indeed, even with our entire Gemini and motor boats down we did not have enough to control them all. So our skipper decided to bring out ship alongside the largest Dow. Quite an achievement really considering the heavy swell that day, so there we were all set to go. Now as we came alongside this Dow, the forward party had an easy jump over to the Dow. However, by the time the aft end of Dow came alongside it was drifting away and the fact that it was around six feet lower than our quarter deck made it seem even further away. I stood there looking at this gap spreading wider by the second not sure what to do.
Suddenly this voice boomed out behind me advising me that I had better go now! It was our Chief GI, who was in charge of us, and his encouragement in my ear was still ringing as I found myself running across our metal deck trying as hard as I could to get traction on my steel studded parade ground boots! By the time I reached the lowered guard rail on the side of our ship I could see the gap had opened even further during my desperate efforts to pick up speed, so I just shut my eyes as I leapt into the air weighed down with all this equipment. In fact that was the very thing going through my mind as I flew through the air was that the weight I was carrying would drag me under as soon as I hit the water.
My mind was soon put to rest, however, as I landed with all the grace of a rock onto the wooden deck of the Dow. I remember thinking at the time just how glad I was to have made it. My joy was soon short lived, however, as I realised that I was still falling. I was, in fact, going through the deck of this Dow, as the wood was indeed rotten and could not take the impact of my graceful landing. Neither was the timber of the deck below and I went through that deck as well.
Now somewhere within the time it took me to fall through these two decks and reach the bottom one, several things had happened - one of which was my steel helmet had come flying forward and broken my nose causing the blood to fill my eyes. The NATO torch which had been clipped onto my shirt had flown up and hit me in the mouth causing even more blood to flow. My finger must have switched the safety catch off on my SMG but, fortunately, had also switched it to single shot instead of automatic. How this happened I have no idea, but I am just so glad it did as, when I eventually came to a stop, my SMG fired off one round as I landed. It was not long before I heard voices up above me as I peered through all the blood up into this small hole where I could see daylight. I just sat there as the last remnants of rotting wood came falling down on top of me.
Next thing I knew was a torch being lowered down to me on a length of rope, which was convenient to say the least as I had no idea where my one had gone after it split my lip. I was soon back on board our ship, still a bit groggy and dazed, but the worst was still to come. I was told to go to the armoury and return my weapon straightaway which I thought would be no problem. How wrong could I be? This sergeant marine in charge of the armoury was extremely concerned at the fact that I had one round missing, gave me a mountain of forms to fill in and demanded that I fill them in there and then. I, of course, could not remember much at all and, seeing the pile of forms he had, I offered to go back over to the Dow and retrieve the bullet for him. This only made him more upset so I offered to pay for it and started searching my torn shorts for some money. This must have really annoyed him as he started to climb over the metal counter to reach me. Fortunately, just at that moment the Chief GI bellowed down the hole from above, that I was to make my way to the sick bay straight away for a check up.
I think that was the one and only time that I could say when I was glad to see the Chief GI. After I had a few stitches and a clean up I looked and felt a lot better, apart from the swelling. I was told later by my mates that the sergeant marine, who had been desperately looking for me, was kept at bay by the cunning actions of my mates who no doubt did this for me as a return for all the humour I had given them earlier that afternoon.
