h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Why thankyou!

Love is...

...almost as addictive as H2G2!

'SUSpire

although sometimes it's nice to take a break from love stuff, but i can't seem to take a break from h2g2

I think if/when this free ISP starts, I shall just log in and never log out! But that's another forum...!

Love is...

...a gift of little or no monetary value, for no particular occasion.

'sus

A deeper shade of love.

Can't remember who sang it, but it was a good
dance tune a few years ago.

KGB

lovely.

'sus

not going out with someone just because they're persistent (sorry tobe all gloom and rain there)

span

So it's chucking it down where you are as well?!!

oh look i thought it was all simple and now apparently it's all complicated again, when i was quite happy with simple. and i just stopped myself before i typed men suck (which is my usual response to all of this).

you don't need someone else to be whole - you can be totally happy on your own. although hugs are nice

span

Mmmmmmmm.....you seemed troubled Miss Spanner?

*removes tissue from box, puts two dabs of prit-stick on it and sticks it on his shoulder*
Do you wanna cry on my shoulder Miss Spanner?

is it the ross + rachel thing?? or is it just ross? (they got together, didn't they? (i've not been keeping up since then)) if it is ross + rachel then i think you should tell her. or do you have a mutual (discreet) friend who might know, or could find out, how she feels?
philosophical bit coming up.... even if you sit still + do nothing, Time passes, stuff happens, keeps happening, the roof will eventually cave in, if nothing else.
keep spending time with her, talk about whatever (or similar) that you talked about in the library that day, practice being nervous - you'll get used to it, keep trying. eventually something WILL happen - maybe you'll get it together, maybe you'll find out she's not that wonderful, maybe your attraction to her will just wear off, maybe you'll find someone else. but i do think you should do something before you get overwhelmed by this. do you really believe you risk her never speaking to you again? i don't think you think she's that shallow.
don't you think you're cute? what does that mean? are you talking about physical appearance? again, is she that shallow? everyone who is loved is beautiful to their lover anyway.
OHMYGODI'MTURNINGINTOAWAVYFLUFFYHIPPY!!!!!
tell us what happens, prove johnny + the rest of the non-believers wrong!

Thank you for your sympathy, Lucan.
I have considered asking a mutual friend, but we have few and they're all female. I'd hate to ask one of them and find out later that this friend was interested in me but I was blind to it. I mean, that would be like the object of my affection asking me to find out if a guy liked her. I'm really bad at getting any kind of signals.
I thought about approaching her when she I know she has some free time and asking her what's wrong with me? Why don't girls find me attractive? I would say that I have to know the answer and that, even though I know we're friends, it still bothers me that she hasn't considered me as a boyfriend(boyfriend sounds a little juvenile, though. I would like to use a different word). Although this is a bit more direct and risky than I would like, it is the only way I have been able to think of to ask her. The answer to this question should definitely tell me whether she ever considered me as boyfriend material. I couldn't just tell her that I love her, that would be extremely awkward. Ok, that would still be awkward, but not so much.
I don't think she's that shallow, but if she never spoke to me again it would be because it's something that you can't pretend didn't happen. It would be uncomfortable.
I think my problem boils down to me being too nice and having a low self esteem. I need to do something about that, but I don't know what.

I know i've been a real downer, so i try to be a bit more upbeat this time

The bottom-line is - I've been there, i ain't pretty, and the best thing to do is act. It doesn't particularly matter what the action is, just make a positive action, whether it's going out with someone else or asking this girl out (but whatever you do, don't listen to your stars or sitcoms. neither is very much help, unless you want a cheap laugh). The thing to avoid is the static tthing you're going through now, because it will tear you apart and make you miserable, and it's then that you do stupid things.

Step back from yourself. Take a deep breath. Look at the whole situation. Look at things from her shoes. Weigh up the options.

Go for it.

... and have a fast car ready if things go wrong.

low self esteem is a big problem. bugger knows what you do about it. Hang out with really nice people? blame your parent? hell, i dunno.

So you do have a soft side Johnny!!

I see red! Hey, these posts are getting longer and longer... it's getting to the point of having to log off for half an hour to read them!

Love is...

a cure to all evils.

'sus

'why can't i get a girlfriend(lover/partner/woman/whatever)?', 'what's wrong with me?' reeks of insecurity, desperation. sorry. if someone asked me that they would immediately drop in my estimation. my best male friend asked me similar 2 weeks ago + i wanted to slap him for being so pathetic + crap. it sounds like you're too shy, quiet, maybe unapproachable as a result. i hope you don't ask her why you don't have women falling at your feet, it's an awkward question to answer anyway, an awkward answer to listen to, may not tell you anything new, + make you feel + look crap as a bonus. slim possibility you'll get some new + useful advice + big possibility your fragile self-esteem will crash downwards.
poo to self-esteem. get too busy to spend any time thinking and maybe it'll go away. there isn't an easy cure.
i do agree with johnny tho, that any action is probably good.

In reply to Sid, all i can say is that every hardass must have a soft-centre .... sorry, had to say that.

My honest feeling is that the case at hand is next to hopeless - i would even go as far as to say it's a million-to-one-chance, but .... (anyone, anyone, fill in that there sentence? ).

In general terms the advice must be to strike while the iron is hot. Catch the spark before it floats away. If you like a girl/boy on first or second site, follow your instinct - ask them out. If they refuse - fine, no harm done, you'll rationalise it away - you never liked them anyway. If they don't refuse then love may come, love may not, enjoy whatever it is you have while it lasts. The problem is waiting ... and then falling for them. Suddenly it's all that much more complicated. Now, if you ask them out, you have something to lose; now you have a stake in the affair - your cards are on the table, and they hold all the aces. Logic dicates that one must avoid putting oneself in such a dangerous situation. Don't wait to fall in love before you act - second guess. Make the first move. Otherwise you're just playing chess blindfolded against someone who doesn't even know they're in the game, but controls a b*****y load of Queens.

Seize the day before the day seizes you by the nadgers, that's what i say.

.... god, am i schizo on this subject, or what? I gotta get me some perspective.

i am way too bitter and twisted to wade in here - except to say, don't turn the object of your affection into someone they are not - this is particularly dangerous if you don't see much of them, and you can just dress them up in this emotional clothing that they don't actually possess. this is VERY dangerous on the internet, where you project your feelings onto their words constantly.

righto, i'm off to spread cynicism and bitterness elsewhere

span

Sorry, 'sus. My bad. I get carried away.

Yeah lucan, I have to agree, it does reek of insecurity. I am quiet, shy, and generally hard to approach. I don't expect to have women falling at my feet, but an occasional woman that I am interested in wanting to spend more time with me unrelated to school would be nice. As for Johnny, I can't ask someone out on first or second sight. That's just not me. If I like someone upon meeting them and they are nice to me, it's like all of a sudden I'm a friend. I can't help it. I'm a complicated kind of guy. And I haven't had any experience in the dating/relationship department. The only thing that I can effectively communicate is that I'm friendly. I either have/had a thing for all my female friends, they approached me, or I grew up with them. I can't get past friendship. I don't have a social life either, but I'm trying to work on that.

If yall have some time, would you take the Keirsly personality test for me( http://keirsey.com/cgi-bin/keirsey/kcs.cgi ) and let me know what you get? It'll help me understand where yall are coming from. I'm an INFJ. My friend is an ESTJ. It's the most accurate test I've seen and it's free.

I get the feelling I'm getting less anonymous.

Good for you Span, who says being bitter and twisted doesn't have a fun side

Well, my score is INTP on the variant (architect) and NT (rational) on the temperament. Not sure how I feel about that. Not to worry tho.
Anybody else?

H&K
Z