h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*levels off at flight level seven there's nothing but blue sky all around the aircraft with sandy desert below.*

How we doing Colonel? Do you want to take the controls for a bit?

No this is your baby, I want to see what you can do, we may have company soon and I'd like to know how you'll fair up

*smiles*

I thought you'd never ask

Now, let's say we've got a glider on our six and we want to take care of him, I'd just pull an S turn and we can come up behind him

*pushes throttle forward and pulls back on the stick climbing into an inverted position before settling vertical again behind their previous position*

Now if that doesn't work we have to go fast and low

*jams the stick forward sending the X-309 into a negative G dive*

OHHHHHMYGOD!!

You're good at this

Oh god I think my stomach is touching my spine

*altimeter descends 10,000...5,000...1,000...*

The key is to pull up at the last minute, I haven't tested it with this one but it looks like

*altimiter 500*

*Pulls back on the stick and quickly increases the throttle flying about 100 feet off the ground*

There's a live fire range about 100 miles from here ma'am, interested?

*The Colonel is beginning to enjoy herslef now*

Sure why not, lets see what you can really do

affirmative, here we go

*contacts the live fire range to arrange for some aerial and ground targets*

We should be there in zero eight minutes ma'am.

So Major, how are you enjoying life at the worlds most secret project, would you like to join us on an offworld trip oneday?

zero two minutes to target ma'am

*checks some instruments*

I'd love the chance to go off world. I am trained to fly any aircraft the Go'uld have. In addition, I've been behind enemy lines before and know how to handle myself.

*checks the instruments again*

If you could switch on the targeting radar, it's the blinking one, we can get this show on the road. As for the missions, thanks for asking, I'm ready if you're ready to have me on the team.

I think everyone based here should have the chance to go offworld at least once and one day if we get the chance to steal any new flight equipment from the Goa'uld we'll need someone on the ground

*Pushes the relevant buttons*

Targeting radar on

show me what this baby can do

*banks left and lines up for the diving run*

Ok, Colonel, when your radar looks lined up, release the ordinance and then we can get to the aerial targets

*lines up for the diving run pressing forward on the sticks. Shortly thereafter the air to sruface radar begins to line up*

*The radar lines up*

Missile away

It's been a while since I did something like this, I've been flying a desk for too long

*smiles as the missle impacts dead on*

Obviously not too long.

*lines up for the aerial run*

Redrock base this is X-ray three zero niner, we're ready for aerial targets.

*two targets launch from the range, and AkronU engages taking out both*

Back to the barn ma'am or did you have something else in mind?

*Decides a Smart-Alec reply may not be in order*

Can you let me take the controls for a while

*smiles*

Your aircraft.

*takes hands off the controls and feet of the rudder pedals*

*Grabs the controls and throws the X-309 into a victory roll*

I've been dying to do this for ages, I used to fly a Spitfire in the Battle of Britain flight, first woman to do it

*Brings it out of the Victory Roll , straightens it up and banks to the right*

What say we look at the Stars

*flips the burner control*

Make sure you punch the afterburner when we're struggling through the lower atmosphere.