Everyone gets angry when food gets taken from their fridge, especially food they paid for and/or like. Fortunately, there are methods of preventing thieves from breaking into your fridge, and they are listed as follows:

Labelling Your Food

First, you could try being practical and writing legibly on the outerpacking of your food your full name - and perhaps other important information about yourself - in marker pen. This is a simple, clear indication that 'this food is mine' and, with a little faith in your fellow folk, this method might well work. However, the true thief will not care, and will most probably blithely ignore the label. However, you could try writing 'Biological Waste' or 'Experiment' on the food instead. This way it should remain untouched.

Hiding Your Food

If labels are having no effect you could always try hiding your food. Place items in a greasy, crumpled paper bag and shove it to the back of the fridge, the idea being that the thief will be less inclined to go for things at the back than at the front and would be further discouraged by discovering they have first to root through the bag to retrieve anything. Though this is a more direct attempt to thwart the robber, it is open to failure for two reasons. Firstly, your food can't be at the back of the fridge every time and one day everyone is going to have to face leaving their crumpets exposed at the front. Secondly, a greasy, crumpled paper bag offers little protection from most who would be inclined to rummage through your fridge in the first place.

Although more complex, camouflage offers better protection than a paper bag. Food concealed beneath items of greenery are rarely touched, as it seems that the deviants fail to notice them hiding there. A slice of pizza buried underneath a piece of some rather elderly broccoli can go the night unmolested. Alternatively you could try camouflaging the fridge itself¹. It is less likely to be raided if the would-be raider cannot find it. On the subject of not being able to find your fridge, it has been known for students to abandon the fridge altogether and instead to leave milk and other items suspended in carrier bags from their window ledges at night. This is good because it will be safe and you can keep an eye on them.

Locking Your Fridge

A simple solution is to put a lock on the fridge. Only authorised people with keys could gain access. An example of how this might be practically achieved is demonstrated by the person who padlocked their fridge shut. However, if the food thief wants your food very badly, you may end up with a sheared lock... and stolen food.

Threats and Why They Don't Work

Threats, as practical as they may seem, don't work. Writing something along the lines of 'If you touch my food, I will rip your spleen out' and then leaving your food unprotected will only end up with stolen food and a thief with a healthy spleen intact. Even if one did try to follow up on a threat, and they found the thief, they may have second thoughts about ripping out their best friend's or mother's spleen.