h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

My guess is that it's probably the lemonade. You should go easy on that stuff you know!

Hello Phil! *pandora wonders how long the pucker will last...never mind the curly hair* Perhaps you'd be kind enough to shove me out the door? I STILL WANT MOOOOOOOOORE CAKE! Mmmmmmm CAKE GOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!

Sorry, Mac has no windows. But its' choice of voices makes up for it!
*The cake seems to have a hypnotic effect on Pandora...eyes are glazing over again* My but that's a tasty cake! *Starts to inch her way toward the cake* Maybe just ONE more SMALL chunk?!?...............

*Places herself between Pandora and the object of her desire*

No, don't do it!

*Decides to eat the cake to save Pandora from herself*

Grabs Pandora's arm and tries to pull her away from the cake, and fails

Hmmm, strange goings on! My last post has'nt shown up here! Perhaps it's invisible!!! Oh Gwinnie don't go there, not to save ME!!! Save yourself!!! Phil, are you alright dear? Let me help you up. You must have slipped on some ice-ing! HA!-HA!-HA! Oh but I still feel queer from the cake AND the anti-cake...but some of the curl is going out of my hair & my skin's nearly back to the natural rosey color I've become
use to! *begins to look at cake...eyes as huge as a deer caught in the headlights of a car* I MUST TASTE IT AGAIN...I MUST...Pandora is USE to getting what she wants When she wants it...I KNOW YOU MEAN WELL...
I WANT MOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!!! PLEASE MAY I?!? Come on, one more small CHUNK, then we'll all go dance around the Maypole!!! *Pandy's eyes are
glazing over, drawn to the cake...*

Thanks to her bluness, I now have details on how to Æ on a Mac!
Shift + Options Key + ' [that's the apostrophe/quotation mark key]

Now Pandora... come back to the kitchen and we'll cure you of cake by making you wash up all the mixing bowls

*Produces a straight jacket, just in case Pandora becomes violent in her craving for cake*

Ændar, please thank her bluness for me! I shall wash bowls until I have dishpan hands. I just ask one...okay two small favors in return...Ændar PLEASE MAY I HAVE JUST ONE BITE OF CAKE BEFORE I LEAVE THIS ROOM, NEVER TO RETURN?!? And, PLEASE don't let Gwinnie near me with that restraining device!!! I'll behave! I promise! I'm ashamed of ALL the trouble I've caused! *Pandora runs quickly to the cake and plunges her face into it, filling her mouth with what she KNOWS will be her last bite...ever*

I'll just make the kitchen staff lock all the cake in the back pantry and hide the keys.
(And if stray vowels get into my name, the correct place for them is an E at the end ie Ændre)
Gwennie - get your white coat on!

Ændr, please forgive the type-o...I'm JUST NOT MYSELF!!! You and the other kitchen staff MUST take SOME of the blame...you're JUST too good at baking! My mouth has NEVER been so happy to be on my face!!! Okay
then, take me away. Will there be a place to 'hose me down'? I'm VERY tempted to suck the icing from my hair!!! But a promise made is a promise kept! I just need to get cleaned up...no need to lock away the cake & keys. Pandora only broke ONE promise...many years ago. And has learned a powerful lesson! I ALWAYS keep to the truth. *Pandora can't help be sad about the loss of her sweet treat* Take me away...*looks back one LAST time...wonderous cake twas it...*

*Gently leads Pandora away from the cake and passes her a Cakeoholics anonymous card*

Chin up, sweetie! Oops! Bad choice of words there! Ignore the "sweetie" bit!!!

It is okay, Pandora, there's still biccies to look forward to

oh Gwennie, you are a dear! (I've got to tell you...I'm laughing so hard about the C.A. I can barely see Mac for the tears! You have totally cracked me up!!! I hope you won't mind if I use that line in the future-God but you're FUNNY!!!) *Pandora looks down at the ...
Cakeoholics Anonymous card...knowing she MUST get the help she so desperately needs! Then a slight smile begins to form on her lips*
Gwennie dear...do you think C.A. will have a twelve tier, ER, WHAT I MEANT TO SAY WAS...do you think they will have a twelve STEP, s t e p, (yeah...THAT'S the word I was looking for...SURE it was...) Program?!?
*Pandora is slowly...but surely led away...* No looking back! *Turns,
then stops herself from looking back. Dose'nt want to turn to a pillar of salt! Realizes too late...That salt thing was something entirely different, pissed she did'nt look!* Thank you kindly for the support!
I'm use to being the one helping. This has been so unlike me!!! IT WAS 'JUST' SOOOOO GOOOOOD!!! *P.'s eyes look a bit glassy & the icing all over her is starting to itch*

Ændr, The Mad-Hatter.Likes baking cakes.Likes hats.Not sane.FEMALE,
May I ask what biccies are, or do I want to know? *Pandora hopes the ladies won't tease her too badly*

biccies are biscuits (in UK).. they are like cookies but there is a lot of variety to them too... like chocolate and lemon pinwheel biscuits or ginger biscuits... see my recipes forum off my homepage... but erm... close your eyes when it gets to the chocolate c*ke

Ændr, The Mad Hatter.Likes baking cakes.Likes hats. Not sane. FEMALE.,
YUMMMMYYYYYY!!! May I have chocolate?!? No, wait I LOVE ginger with
lemon tea & SUGAR!!! No, I haven't had a lemon pinwheel in years!!!
Oooh, oooh, I know...I know, I'll have some of each!!! *Pandora starts jumping up and down* Please pardon my behavior! I rarely even EAT any
thing sweet. Hmmm, perhaps that's the problem. I've been depraved, er, deprived for so long...I know (hope) this buldge in my tummy is just short lived. From over eating that WONDERFUL Ca...caa, cca, ccaa,
I don't seem to be able to say the "C" word!?! My Wooord! I'm having some type of huge 'brain fart'! We must measure my waist!!! I've had to work hard just to stay: 20"...no kidding, it's been Hell! Most of
my relatives are rather um, chunky..let's say! I'm fairly comfy right where I am...or where I WAS!!! I mean, the swim Season is just starting back home! *Ændr notices that 'glaze' coming over Pandora's
eyes* May I have biccies now? Please?!? I can be hosed down later!...
*Gwennie thinks she saw Pandy's eyes spinnig in opposite directions!!! Wonders how THAT'S possible* Is anyone hungery?!? Hic-hic! Pardon me!!

We also like to dunk our biscuits in cups of tea/coffee/hot chocolate here in the U.K. They taste even better that way!

*Wanders off to the other end of the kitchen in search of tea and biscuits......*

Gwennie, dear, you're not being 'catty' are you? I'm hoping to get some 'positive' attention poolside. Are YOU TRYING TO TEMPT ME?!? OH,
please forgive the outburst! The biccies sound yummy dunked in tea!
I only drink de-caf! I have enough energy! I'd hate to see myself on CAFFINE! 8) Let's have tea, shall we? *Pandora scratches her head at the varity of leafy flavores...* Hmmm, hard to pick just ONE!

Hmmm... try an English Breakfast, best with the ginger biccies, and a Drinking Chocolate for the pinwheels.

*Looks innocent - or tries to anyway*

Moi? Catty? Of course not! I've got enough trouble keeping my own rapidly expanding bottom into size 12's nowadays! Things are starting to look as though drastic measures may be in order. I already work out, etc. but a d-i-e-t may be in order! *Shudders at the merest thought of a diet*

Have a rice cake!