h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Thank you, Hypatia. I knew that wasn't a view held by all librarians. If anything that approach would turn a lot of people off reading. And without readers....well....it would be a sad world indeed.

In theory, I'm in the 'if it's rubbish stop reading it' camp, but I can never bring myself to do that. Maybe once or twice, but very rarely indeed. I normally keep on slogging through. 'Clarissa' defeated me, but I wasd reading that for study purposes, and I think reaching page 1000 of that dullness deserves some sort of endurance prize anyway...

DB

agapanthus ,bluetooth do a very handy earpiece ,if you have radio connect to computer, should work in bath(depends on depth if cast iron tend to blok radio signals) would have thought, never tried
but in princible shold work see them stuck in ears in the rain, just dont rince you hair or cringe down at the scary bits.

I've been known to read some really bad books all the way through. But in general if I can't stand the story i put it down.

There are different kinds of badness. Some books display a tin ear for the english language; these are the ones that make me angry enough to put the book in the bin. I remember one non-fiction book that attempted to recapture the destruction of a bridge while people were driving on it. One person managed to stop within feet of the edge. "And when Joe G. Smith, an engineer with a condo in South Succatash, Nebraska, looked over the edge..." See, that's not the place to interject the biographical details. Tin ear.

Then there are books where you can't tell what's happening. I try to show patience with page after page of conversation that consists entirely of unattributed quotes, even when I have to back up a bit and start counting so I can tell whether A or B is speaking. One book I didn't read recently had this conversation in space occurring while the characters were strolling around a city. When I discovered that not only could I not tell who was talking but that I didn't know where he was, I gave up.

Then there are the ones where the author has relied on one cliché too many and is proudly showing off his or her diploma from the John Grisham School of Literature. How many sincere and handsome young Southern male lawyers with slender and spunky wives can there possibly be?

This may come across as heresy, but the only book I've stopped reading deliberately is "Les Miserable". OK. But I felt very relieved once I had consciously decided I wasn't going to pick that book up again.

I was just about to come on and post a question about Cyrtonomicon, thanks Lil for wondering!

I just read the chapter where they described Goto Dengo working with Wing and Raphael and crews to dig Golgotha. The thing I was wondering about was the relative sparsity of techinical detail. It's not that it's sparse with respect to other books, just with respect to other sections of this book. I mean, he goes into some detail, but I just thought it was odd that he never mentioned the crazy tricks you need to pull in order to...

OK, never mind that paragraph. I'm just remembering the section about surveying...that clears that up.

So that's where I am. What's funny is that it took me awhile to realize how Goto Dengo tied in with the future - It's funny, I can't remember how many times I must have read the evidence, in the "present day" narrative, and missed the connection. I love it. I love being made to think like that (or being made to realize I *wasn't* thinking)

Hypatia’s (Baker’s Dozen of) Everyday Library Laws and Ordinances or HELLO!

We have already discussed Rule # 1 – Just because you start a book doesn’t obligate you to finish it.

Rule # 2– It isn’t holy. It’s paper and ink. It’s okay to throw it away.

Rule # 3 – Just because it’s old doesn’t mean it’s valuable. If the pages are yellow and brittle and it stinks, throw it away. We don’t want it.

Rule # 4 - I haven’t read every book in the library. If you want to know what a book is about, you can try reading it.

Rule # 5 – I have no idea which book comes next in your 12 volume series of pioneer romances. You’re the one reading them – you keep track of them.

Rule # 6 – You say you want the Cliff Notes for Moby Dick? Then go buy one. We have the book if you’d care to read that.

Rule # 7 – If you want me to locate a favorite book from your childhood, you’ll have to know more about it than “It was about a mouse and it was blue.”

Rule # 8 – No, I will not take books off of the shelves and sell them to you.

Rule # 9 – It’s it your report. Write it yourself.

Rule # 10 – You want medical advise, ask a doctor. You want legal advice, ask a lawyer. You want your taxes filled out for you, go to H&R Block.

Rule # 11 – Bring your own paper, pencil, pen, paper clip, stapler, hole punch, bulldog clip, glue stick, Kleenex, tampon, sanitary napkin, socks, reading glasses, magnifying glass, raincoat and umbrella. Does this look like Wal-Mart?

Rule # 12 – We don’t answer the phone or unlock the doors until opening time. If you don’t want to stand in the rain, then wait until we’re open before you come.

Rule # 13 – No, you may not:
Eat in the library
Drink in the library
Do your laundry in the restrooms
Butcher game in the restrooms
Have sex in the restrooms
Spit in the floor
Spit in the water fountains
Skateboard down the front steps
Rollerblade inside the library
Color in the books
Write in the books
Draw in the books
Feed the books to your dog
Bring your motorcycle inside the building
Bring your dirt bike inside the building
Bring your ferret inside the building
Bring your boa constrictor, reticulated python, tarantula, or iguana inside
the building
Make out in the stacks
Sleep in the stacks
Change clothes in the stacks
Leave your 4 year old here while you go shopping
Pull the flowers out of the planters
Write on the walls
Pull the fire alarms
Set off the sprinklers with a cigarette lighter
Photocopy your butt
Photocopy your breast
Photocopy your penis and testicles
Pee on the photocopier
Pee out the window
Pee down the stairs
Pee in the shrubbery
Pee in the dumpster
Sleep in the dumpster
Put your household trash in the dumpster
Return you books in the dumpster
Push the dumpster to your house
Park your RV on the lawn

*dave raises his hand*

Umm, Hypatia, may I...

" you’ll have to know more about it than “It was about a mouse and it was blue.”

*giggling*

Goto Dengo is my second favorite character, and Douglas MacArthur is probably 3rd. Sounds like you are well along with the book; you had better buy or reserve volume 1 of the Baroque Cycle, Quicksilver, because it's part of the same tapestry.

And re bad books, Mark Twain wrote the ultimate essay, imo, in "Concerning the Literary Offenses of James Fennimore Cooper."

*Comes in just in time to hear HELLO.*

Butcher game in the restrooms?

You must be kidding. What species?



I love Cryptonomicon. Got halfway through the following cycle and gave up. I just couldn't sustain my interest through some sections. I had to return the book to the library. I think I will try again when all three are out in paperback.

Why am I thinking someone has committed each one of the HELLO offenses?

::boggles at the idea of butchery in the bathroom::

Rule # 2– no it is not okay to throw it away, have you ever tried wipeing your posteriour with computer screen ,come on let at least recycle sensibly.

so where does the library cat take its kills to bie the heads off

rule three ,suppose those readers never bothered to go to rest rooms thats why pages are yellow

hype whats the best way for unsticking the pages stuck together in the adult section,

<>

A young deer. A woman hit it with her pickup and killed it. She stuffed it in the bed and brought it to the library. When we explained that she couldn't butcher it here, she replied, "But I have a library card."

<>

Yep. Every last one of them.

Tracky, you have to throw it away before it can be recycled. The library cat has never seen a mouse....well except for a computer mouse. Rule 3 was referring to donations of books. They wait until they are useless before they bring them to us. As to stuck pages in the adult section.....we don't have that kind of book. However, we have had guys jerk off in the computer lab.

That is beyond belief. Almost as good as the cake pan request.

yippee so it must stil be okay to stick those bit of chewing gum that have lost there flavour ,under table edges ,or the chair , better on the seat,,what you aint found any nappies in strange places either

Its strange what some peoples view of what a library is for is!!!!!



*wanders if that makes any sense to anyone or if its just her that doesnt seem to understand english anymore*

*Picks up hnicky's sentence by the nape of the neck and gives it a good shake*

It's strange, what purposes some people would bring to a library! Strange it is, wh-- *Lil gives the second sentence a swift kick*

Please forgive the grammer im ill.