h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

/* Climbs out of the boat, accidentally dropping his last canape into the water. It bursts into flames. */

Are you coming Munchkin, or should we send you back across the lake to help the others?

*A new red ballon appears. Carmel takes it for an upgrade*

If no one has a hoovercraft a bitty pink racingcar will do.

*Carmel, seeing that no tiny pink vehicles are forthcoming, stamps her little foot indignantly, then turns to face the tunnel entrance. She has aquired a guided missle launcher - just like in DKR! Taking as wide a stance as her stitching will allow, and brushing a drooping ear out of her eyes, she brings the weapon to bear and sites it. As the weapon is three times her size she has a bit of difficulty keeping it's nose elevated*
Oh, dear, it has two buttons. Is it ARMED first then LAUNCH or LAUNCH first then ARMED?

heh heh heh

LOADED first.

*goes down to water and steps in*

Sewer water.

Oh, it comes loaded, you can tell from the pointy bit at the front. *stops, glances at front of rocket launcher* And I bet you thought you'd make me look.
*she gives her best attempt at a fierce squint as is possible with button eyes, pushes some buttons, and giggles sweetly*

Hehe!

*it should be pointed out that a vehicle mounted rocket should not be used hand held. Carmel, being the peacable and timid stuffie that she is, could never be expected to have such martial knowledge. She gains this knowledge in a sudden rush, with a lesson in Newtonian physics thrown in for free. The missle goes one way, the launcher and Carmel go the other. Weighing next to nothing, Carmel is propelled across the lake, landing roughly in the sand on the far beach. At this point a further deficit in Carmel's knowledge comes into play - a guided missle is only guided if you wait to lock onto your target. The missle enters the tunnel, it might possibly hit something and it might possibly not.*

My, how very exciting. I had forgotten how much I hated excitement. *faints dead away, falls on face*

Amy! Could you please send the boat back!

*fascinatedly watching Tentacle waving threateningly, thinking 'oh my, how impressive!'*

*pulls out pale blue pearl and elf emerald, prepared for - uh - something*

Carmel, spectacular arrival, but didn't you want to wait with Lil and GL for the boat to return for you?

Now you're here you can help me keep this tunnel entrance covered with your launcher.

*crouches down by the entrance, slightly to one side, with crossbow cocked and ready*

*pulls down on the srtring attached to the back of the boat, propelling the empty baot back across the lake*

*puts the into the recovery position*

*waves at Styx as he paddles in the water and wonders why his feet are not dissoving*

*catches sight of something lurking in the water*



*checks, but Tentacle is still across the water waving his cricket bats in a menacing fashion and impressing Titania*

You know, I could have sworn that the monster in the lake was another Tentacle but this one seems to be much softer and rounder than our brave friend over there.

So thats an empty boat going back then is it? Must have got out then. How did that happen? Gah, I hate these panic attack black outs. So, where am I? Oh look, bunny skidmarks. you don't see them every day. Hmm. ... Gaagh, something in the water, I definately saw it. *Points Kendal Mint Cake fiercely at the water while nibbling nervously on the flare gun*

Hmm. I wonder if it is wise to launch a missile inside a linen closet? Even if there are caves and lakes inside, and such. And barrels of wine. I hope the wine will be ok.

/* Picks up some fluff, and hands it to Carmel Bunny */

I think you lost this. Amy, do you have any more of that thread - we have a medical emergency. The bunny has a tear under her left arm!

Oh no, I always faint at the sight of ...
stuff ... i ... ng *thud! Munchkin passes out, having turned an interesting shade of white*

I would throw some of the lake water over him, but I don't know what's in it!

*shakes Munchkin, gently*

Are you there?

*Hands pink thread, long sharp needle and a uniform to d'Elaphant*

Huh, urgh, phlaa, No more goat soup!
Ohh, my back hurts. Quite possibly because I have landed on this stone which is an exact replica of a Fraggle Rock Doozer. *Picks it up and throws it in the water, where it dissolves rather than sink*

I'm fine...I'm fine...just need a bit of brushing off...please stop pushing the 5 button...*faints again*

/* sews uniform onto Carmel Bunny */

There, good as new. I think I'll hold on to this needle in case I need a weapon. That sound from the tunnel is getting distinctly louder.

Which tunnel? Not this tunnel?

*ratches up the crossbow sights*

*very groggy*

Are we playing dress up? I do so love to play dress up.

*there is an explosion deep in the tunnel, the first tunnel. It sounds like something from a video game soundtrack, and there is a rather cartoony light effect at the tunnel mouth. Two large bananas bounce out of the tunnel*

Oh, dear, that's all that happens in DKR as well.

DKR? Sounds a bit woosey if it involves bananas?

*replaces standard bolts with flame bolts*

I love bbqed bananas

*picks up remnants of launcher* Dear me, it doesn't have a pointy bit anymore. *looks at other end* Nope, no pointy bit here either. Just as well, I don't feel I want to do that again. Is there a little bin I can dispose of this in, properly?