h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

SLS is very dead . The Friday Night Armistice did a very cruel sketch of his children being abducted by social services, cos he's f***ing crazy.
The cat is ginger, but I don't know what breed
Apparently, there's a pig running for mayor of London. Good luck to it.

What's the significance of this photo then?
I need to find a newspaper article on this thing, so I can be properly filled in.

Better than that, go to http://www.cnn.com and pick your news story. Elian is bound to e at the top of the heap because the Cubans will probably go postal in Miami tonight.

Good idea.
Now, that photo don't look fake. But what would be so bad if it -was- fake?

I must say, I do like having this title on my forum list. :-X

The Miami Cubans want to insinuate that the US Government is EVIL and eats babies. My feeling is that they should emigrate to a more enlightened country that will allow them to hijack other people's children. I never thought I'd hear myself say such a thing, but I have a deep, long-standing resentment about my inability to travel freely in Miami because I don't speak a bloody foreign language!!!

I rather like it too... very fetching to have on an ACE's forum list, eh? Glad I chose it

Well, I have VERY little to say about republicans, other than they should all be lined up... hehe. NO... as much as I despise them I must say that they have been shaping up rather recently. Oh, and on the Elian issue, I hope this doesn't sound awful, but I was all for them tear bombing the house and forcefully removing Elian weeks ago. Sorry, this is just me. When the government has rules and regulations (specifically, the INS), I think it is extremely foolish of them to do anything other than what the law says; i.e. ship him back home, with his father. This whole thing has made a rather large mockery of the government: make a big fuss, buy your time, and maybe you can get around the government.

I know that I probably sound like a large arse, but hey, I like LAWS.

I agree with your assessment of the republicans, however, I have yet to see evidence of any better behavior by the democrats. The Clinton administration will go down in history as the most scandalous and corrupt since US Grant's (and in Grant's defense, it wasn't HE who did all the stuff... he was just too drunk to stop it).

Does anyone else see the resemblance to Dan Quayle in Al Gore?

No, not really. Al Gore can spell, and thinks a sentence through before he utters it.

And in Clinton's defense, history will not be very kind to those members of the opposition party who stopped at nothing in the pursuit of political power, to the detriment of governance. You don't know a lynch mob when you see one? Of the Republican Party I would like to use the phrase 'monumental hypocrisy' except that it's such a bromide...

I think I need to re-subscribe to a British Sunday paper.

In respect of Elian, I believe the government are behaving admirably toward the boy, by sequestering him away from the media and those yappity exploitative relatives. And I really really really hope that George W has put a big foot in it this time by decrying the raid. I feel ashamed, though, of my latent racism. Because this is, to a certain degree a factor in my satisfaction over Reno's decision to go in and get the boy. It pisses me off no end for Miami to be a foreign power, seized by people who sought asylum here and then who look down on ME because I won't talk to them in THEIR language. I lived in England for many years and know how it is when several languages and cultures occupy the same territory. And I didn't much agree with some facets of certain cultures that I met up with from day to day. But I think everyone was agreed that one common language was necessary if we were all going to do business together. And it was also agreed that the language should be that of the host country, whatever languages were spoken inside the home, at certain social clubs or in places of worship. Nothing wrong, either, with government forms to be multilingual where the need to obtain data is paramount.

But to insist that strangers looking for directions or wanting to buy a coke should speak your language or not be served is well over the line.

Still, Gore does have a similar case of foot-in-mouth disease.

As for Clinton, I'm not talking about the Lewinsky debacle. Why they made that charade center stage is beyond me, when there is evidence for connection in the Whitewater scandal, taking contributions from China in exchange for political favors, etc. Lewinsky was a smokescreen so everyone would forget about what a greedy, corrupt bastard he is, about how he failed to deliver on any of his campaign promises, etc.

The US takes a lot of bashing for uni-lingualism, but in a country with so many different cultures, a unifying language is pretty necessary. But then, maybe I'm biased, because an excellent job passed my mother by, because she didn't speak Spanish. The people doing the hiring came straight out and said they'd rather hire her, but they had to hire a much less qualified Hispanic woman instead. She's still stuck at her dead-end no-pay job because she was fortunate enough to be born here.

Well, like I said, if the kid's causing no problems in Miami, then he should be allowed to stay. But if the freeloading Cubans are causing trouble then -they- should be sent home. Or even better: shot.

The biggest problem with Miami and the Little Havana section of it is the proximity of Miami to Cuba -- 90 miles. Miami is 300 miles south of me. Miami is also relatively close to every other Caribbean island like Haiti and Trinidad and Jamaica ... and the most convenient point of call for Columbia.

Personally, I think the Haitians have a better case for asylum than the Cubans, but that's to ignore ideology. The Cubans in Miami would indeed like to GO back to Cuba. But they need the political climate to be changed (i.e., for Castro to be overthrown) so that they can have their property back when they return, property which is, in some cases, considerable.

This is where Elian's case becomes symbolic, you see, of the private war between the Miami Cuban expats and the "Castro regime" as we still call it. Elian's Miami relatives know that if they make enough noise they can wind up the arch-conservatives and aging Cold Warriors into getting involved. And, as this is a campaign year, the right wing of the Republican Party is sticking their finger in to try and make the Clinton administration look worse. Even though Janet Reno is explicitly taking the heat and responsibility for the decision to send in the Feds.

I saw the young woman on telly this morning, claiming that the photos taken of Elian with his dad are doctored, and I think she has gone too far in public and is now about to be made to look like a vociferous imbecile.

Poor kid. They say he has lots of Post-Traumatic Stress Syndrome from watching his mother and others die in the water. And then his Miami relatives decide to wave him around like a flag. Sorry, I don't think this one will fly.

Hiya all,

Sutch is definitely dead, or re-united with Elvis, and the Monster Raving Loony Party have withdrawn from the London Mayor thing to focus their resources on an upcoming by-election. Malcolm Maclaren has also stepped down leaving it neck-and-neck between Red Ken Livingstone and the pig. I think the major parties have also fielded candidates but no-one's taking them seriously.

There was a clown stood in the French presidential elections about ten years back. He stood down after getting frightened by the prospect of actually getting elected. Seems the frogs had about as much respect for their politicians as the average american.

I want to write a page on "americans" which will definitely take the piss, but I want to keep on the "affectionately humorous" side of the offensive line - at least where reasonable people are concerned. Krissy Lee can go f**k herself.

Before going public it would be nice to have some input from said reasonable people, especially if they are american.

Also I think there needs to be a similar foriegn perspective on Brits, with both pages carrying links to the other. Let's face it. It's vital for any visitor, or person encountering Brits abroad, to be warned about all the prudish, tea-drinking, whingeing, insecurity. A job for Loonytunes, perhaps. Or could he be hard at work disecting Ozzie kulcha?

Mike, did you get the title for this page from the Spitting Image Dire Straits puppets singing "Bored with the UK of A", a la Bruce Springstein?

Ex-Sex Pistols manager for Mayor? Bloody hell. Well then, lets have Quorthon, Vvornth and the other guy as our Swedish amassadors!

Do u still remember That Thrad, strag? Probably tried to forget it. I remember, but you lot probably don't want to dwell on it...

If you want to write an anti-English page, then get a Welsh guy for the job.

Finally, I got the page title from the Top Ten Punks pregram on Channal 4 a month or two back. They did a little feature on American imitation bands, with the amusing title...
Can anyone get me lyrics for Born In The USA?

Yes, I remember the thread - and your awesome final words.

follow this link for the lyrics

http://www.xs4all.nl/~maroen/engels/lyrics/bornusa.htm

I got the Maclaren story from the bbc online - http://news.bbc.co.uk

I grew up (not much) in Wales, but I think I'd make a good ambassador to Sweden.

DON'T CALL ME "STRAG" Grrr

There's still unfinished business for me there. I read through it and remembered just how much I'd missed. What I shame I can't dig it up...
Actually, that thread was the inspiration for me writing this page. That's why there's a reference to "pig-headed yanks on this site".

Hmmm, lyrics...don't actually think I'd need to tweak them much! But I'll try. Try to get something witty out of it.

And yes, don't call you the s word. I know now

I am so pro Al Gore it isn't even funny! The thought of another Bush in the White House wakes me out of a dead sleep in the middle of the night, complete with cold sweat and chills <>

Al Gore,

Didn't he invent the internet? Or did he dream that? Personally I think he got the idea from Arthur C Clarke's speech at MIT as part of the 100th anniversary celebrations for the telephone - in 1976!

Have you ever heard the phrase "The best of a bad bunch"?

Bumper sticker seen on car from Minnesota (home of Jesse Ventura) reads "Our governor can beat up your governor". My girlfriend is embarrassed to be from MN.

God love her

Yah, George W frightens me too. Because if he were elected we'd go back to having the country run by anonymous handlers, just like the Reagan and Points-of-Light years.

Stragbasher, an entity typing on the fly is going to be calling you the s-word quite unawares, unless you do us a favour and let us call you summat else like tmwc. Would you answer to that?

btw, I'll do stuff for your planetchris site, but go talk to me at my Atelier about that.

Ta Lil

Mike was busy calling me the S word here while I was busy yelling at him on his own page, and busy reading the yell while I was reading his second oops of the day. He wasn't to know until I told him, and I only told hima again here so that everyone else would get the message.

Call me tmwc by all means, I still do, but it may be a little confusing for any newcomers. SB will do just as well.

On my way to the atelier, and then to work.

I agree that GW is scum, but I cannot support Gore on a "lesser of two evils" ballot. Doing so only perpetuates the bipartisan bullshit that is the real cause of the problems in this country. Our government has bi-polar syndrome as a result, and the two parties spend more time taking shots at each other (see Lewinsky waste of money, time, and oxygen) than actually advancing US interests. That's why, even though I know in my heart of hearts that it's a wasted vote, I'm voting third parties, and registered Libertarian. If more people did the same, we could finally have a viable alternative to the two major parties . I get the feeling that the people who don't vote feel pretty much the same as I do, but by not voting, they're simply acquiesing to the way things stand.

BTW... I think Governor Ventura is awesome...