h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Winter Birds of The Niagara Gorge - A29574011
Author: Skankyrich [?] - the power of imagination makes us infinite - U931109

langsandy, U4056622, submitted this to Peer Review a few weeks ago but chose to withdraw it. I thought it was far too good a piece of writing to be lost to the Edited Guide, so I offered to make some stylistic tweaks and resubmit it on his behalf. This is the result.

If this is selected for the Edited Guide, I will remove my name from it so that landgsandy receives full credit.

This is beautifully written - almost like poetry.


The only thing I spotted was the last quotation is unattributed.

I didn't want it to end with 'An h2g2 Researcher says...', kind of spoils the effect Maybe I'll just attribute the first one, and add a footnote explaining that the rest of the quotes were by a h2g2 Researcher.

That's a good idea - it'd work for me and make things look just as pretty as they sounded in my head when I read it.

As I said in the original thread, this is wonderful, wonderful writing. What you have done here Rich is take a magnificent painting and put it into a frame that enhances its beauty further.

Bravo Rich

*looks at Picking Calendar*

It's beautiful word painting, that's for sure. And much easier to read on screen with some GML.

Pulling out langsandy's own observations is a little awkward, especially as the whole piece is his observation - but if that's the requirement, it's the requirement. Attributing them by footnote is a good idea, less intrusive.


Headers - well again, if they have to be they have to be. And it has fallen naturally into these sections. The plainness of the first three actual headings is such a contrast with the content though, that I’m not sure… you could have something like The Gathering Gulls… but these are langsandy’s suggestions so so be it.

Would the eider story be better under the second paragraph of Ducks? Being, I think, about the duck that fished the head of the falls.

I've said before, but I'm glad you took this on Skankyrich.
Waz

I've made those changes, Waz, and footnoted below the first quote. It looks less lumpy now

I think the headers are better simple, actually. Sometimes stark is good, and I think that unless you're really looking at them they hardly seem there.

I really wanted to take this one on, you know

It's a beautiful piece of work. Langsandy told the tale, and you have managed to keep within his story.

Well done, Rich

Oh, neat work with the footnote, I thought you'd have to have at least one attribution in the text.

That's great.

It's great to see this here again.

Fine job, Rich, on what's just a fantastic piece of writing.

Thanks very much, but I can't claim any credit for adding a few tags here and there

Of course, if langsandy knew how you guys felt about his writing, he might just be encouraged back into PR. I'll leave his U-number here again, just in case

U4056622

He knows, Rich. If this went into the UG instead (and it's already approved to go in if it's judged unsuitable for the EG), then it would be langsandy's 8th, more than anyone else.

The challenge is to persuade langsandy and writers like him that the EG offers them something. That's why you deserve credit, not for the paragraph tags.

Hi, Rich,

I don't much like reading long articles on the screen so I printed it off and took it away to read.

Being only an armchair traveller, I like reading material that transports me elsewhere, and this took me right to the wilds of Canada. The writing conjured up the sights, the sounds and the feel (cold) of the area, something you could only write if you had experienced it?

Surely this is the kind of writing h2g2 should be encouraging. Maybe it is not factual in the accepted sense, but it draws the reader right in to the scene and is very atmospheric. It was something most of us will not be lucky enough to experience and I felt privileged to be able to share it.

You were right to bring it back and tweak it.

I looked at langsandy's PS and was disappointed not to find more information about someone who could write like that.

*Come back langsandy and let's hear more from you. I for one would be delighted to see more of your work.*

Thanks Rich.

Websailor

You're right, Webbie. It's factual, but not as we know it, which is why I like it so much. Everything you need to know is there, but expressed in a different way; it's a perfect demonstration that there is more than one way to write an Entry. The thing is that many approaches work, and it shouldn't be a choice between them. I'd love to see more Entries like this being submitted to PR, because I think the Guide should be a cacophony of voices. A site like our oft-mentioned rival has just one, whereas I'd like to think that diversity gives this one its personality.

It's really nice to see you in PR, by the way

Thanks Rich, I shouldn't be on the computer at all at the moment I will look at Peer Review when I have time, and speak if I think I have something worthwhile to say.

The 'oft mentioned site' as you call it has had a lot of criticism in my area, for inaccurate misleading information which may or may not get corrected. i think we are better than that!



Websailor

Justed wanted to add another voice of support for this entry.
Thanks Langsandy, it is indeed beautiful.
Not got anything else to say really, apart from nice one Rich. I am glad this looks like its heading for the EG.

vp

Great to see this back.

Well done Rich.

I take it this is ready to move on?



GB

Your Guide Entry has just been picked from Peer Review by one of our Scouts, and is now heading off into the Editorial Process, which ends with publication in the Edited Guide. We've therefore moved this Review Conversation out of Peer Review and to the entry itself.

If you'd like to know what happens now, check out the page on 'What Happens after your Entry has been Recommended?' at EditedGuide-Process. We hope this explains everything.

Thanks for contributing to the Edited Guide!

langsandy & Rich