h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Through the door you can see, the cabin bed against the opposite wall which was built by Titan herself, a dressing table against the other wall and a comfy chair in the middle, along with a shelf full of books along the final wall are some 'trophies', Titan is sitting in the chair reading*

*tip toes in*

sorry am i interupting?

i just wanted to drop by and give you your cabin warming

Ooh thank you sir, come in and share it and tell me what you need me to do

well i'm gald you call me sir... i mean i'm terribly afraid that i will have ity on this ship... i mean... only one person has ever saluted me... and that only happened once...

but anyway... enough of my problems... you're the bosun right?
well so far i figure you can just hang arround, farmiliarize yourself with the ship... have a little fun. you see, to be entierly honest we dont have all that many people. actually asside from yourself we only have one other crew member thats not an officer...

but what do you see yourself doing?

Well incharge of disciplin I guess, got to have that on a ship, making sure the crew do what they're supposed to, that kind of thing

ah ha! so you're jsut the person i wanted to talk to!... about gently nudging ensigns in the direction of saluting officers... i mean i know that we're not berserker but i thinik we do need some disapline....

Ah can you tell me who are the officers and who are the crew and any crewman or woman who does not salute will get this

*Brandish's a feather duster*

They will be tickled till they beg for mercy

well ok sounds good to me

Captain-- Halla(me)
Commander--first officer--foesmasher
commander--armaments officer-- goatpuncher
commander--cook--ani seahorse
lieutenant commander-- navigator--scandera... cant remember her viking name at teh moment
lieutenant--bard--grimr
acting sub lieutenant--bartender--madhawk

so thats a list of the officers
i can jsut tell you're going to be perfect!

So we have no ordinary seamen (No giggles please> apart from me

*as requested, does not giggle*

*says with a completely straight face*
well we do have ensigns... you're and ensign... and so is umm.... lil, shes the medic... but thats it so far... i think we need some sort of avertising campagin....anyway... so we have 2 ordinary crew members and 7 officers...

so I get to tickle myself and lil, and Jerms (can't remember his viking name) but I think that's something else he'd better tell you himself

well... actually jerms(aka foesmasher) is the first officer, second in command of this ship... so i think you can only tickle him if he says you can.... or maybe a suprise ambush...

Hmm I think he'd enjoy that too much

maybe...

well i've got lots of thigs to do now that i'm back form shore leave... so i'd better get going.

by the way... vesties joined too... so now hes also an ensign...

but anyway... nice talking to you
see you around

*leaves*

*Salutes*

Yes sir, thank you sir

*comes in for a friendly little visit*

hello titan
how are you today?

...i brought some and if you'd like some...

...dont mind if i come in for a little visit do you?

Not at all Captain, would you like some

why yes, thank you very much!

its rather quiet around here... just thought i'd drop by and chat... get to know you a little better, become wonderful friends... you know....

so how are you? how's your job going?

Very slowly at the moment as it's been quiet

*Holds up feather duster*

Look it's moulting