h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*a tiny battered building imbedded in rock floating on a lava river*

*the small shuttle-like ship carrying Cobal Th'chi lands on the embedded rock outside the outpost*

Look do you mind telling me what this is all about please

MAN: All in good time my dear.


*leads her into the building which is battered but the markings on the wall clearly state those of Imperial*

*Starts to get annoyed*

Look................friend you have taken me from my ship, held me prisoner in yours and I haven't tried to kill you yet, tho god knows you deserve it, now I want an explanation, before I get nasty

*Folds her arms and taps her foot*

MAN: Very well.

I am Vesiz Shakkuspeearay and you are going to help me and my fellow men *arm passed over the various human males/females* get back what was stolen from us.

*Looks at the ragged group*

I'm sorry you've got the wrong Co'bal Th'chi, I'm not in the mercenary business anymore, but I can give you a couple of names, I'm a diplomat and the 2 parties I was negotiating with are going to be a little pi$$ed off if I don't get back and will probably accuse eachother of kidnapping me and six months work is down the drain

Thanks a lot

*Sits down in a huff*

VESIZ: Oh that works toward our plan well. If the corrupt Republic goes to war with the arrogant Republic it's perfect for the Hammer of the Empire.


*sits aswell*

Would you like a drink?

*Stiffles a laugh*

The Hammer of the Empire

*Pulls a straight face*

Who are the Hammer of the Empire and what do you want with me

*Holds out her hand for the drink*

*Vesiz clicks fingers and someone brings forth a smallish glassand hand it to Cobal*


VESIZ: *clasps hands together* We are the hammer that will resurrect the glory of the Empire from the ashes of a perverted government whose Galactic Alliance diluted the purity of the Remnant and all she fought to achieve.

*Sips the drink, then chokes when she hears what Vesiz has to say*

You want the empire back and you want me, a Nubian, to help you, you've been inhaling lava fumes for too long

*Laughs until shes gasping for breath*

You've definatly got the wrong woman, now if you'll excuse me I have work to do, thanks for the drink and the laugh

*Moves to the door*

*a disruptor rifle blast fires just inches from Cobal's foot*



*Vesiz waves the rifle holder away*

VESIZ: No she may go. Prepare the ship.

*pauses*


I trust your father is in full health?

*sips drink*

*Her head whips around*

He's well thank you, why?

VESIZ: Well he might catch something if you don't assist us.

*smiles in a friendly way*

The Hammer is everywhere Ms. Th'chi. I'd hate for the Naboo to have it fall there.

*Slaps his face*

You B*****d you leave my father and my planet out of this, the Naboo will never help you, we were led into darkness thanks to Palpatine, we will not suffer it again

*Spits at his feet*

*Vesiz steps out of the way of the spit but moves finger down red cheek*


VESIZ: More's the pity. *relaxes into chair sighing*

You will find a small custom shuttle outside.

You will head straight for it, any other path will unfortunately paint the stone red.

The Hammer's reach spreads farther than you could ever dare imagine, Ms. Th'chi, and comes down whenever foolhardy people become a shatterpoint. I trust you will not be one of them.

*looks to the others* Let her go.

*gets up and walks away toward a rusted double door, it opens but Vesiz stops. His back to Cobal*


Our cause is more just than any you'll have heard. *pauses* If only that you refused to here the outcome without bias. You cannot make chaos bigger, thus any movement is one toward peace.

Good day.

*walks through doors*



*other 'Hammers' stepback to give Cobal freedom to move but areobviously keeping close eye*

I'm no fool you've already threatened my father and I'll be lucky if I get as far as that shuttle alive

*Looks Vasiz up and down with contempt on her face*

Typical revelutionary, full of hot air, now why don't you stop posturing and tell me what the hell this bloody hammer is all about, what you want and why you want me to help you

*One of rifle holders motions Cobal to leave*

FEMALE 'HAMMER': You don't understand him, he really wants a better future for people.

*Turns on the Female*

You want a better future for the people of the republic by returning them to Slavery, You have some strange idea of what's best for the people and I suppose you want me to sell this idea to the republic's citizens, you're going to have to do a lot of fancy talking then