The Ramblings of a Hunchback

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The Humble Hunchback

You've probably seen them many times in your lifetime but never noticed. Those mysterious hunchbacks with blood shot eyes and strangely coloured hands. Their hands, should you touch them, are pitted with self-inflicted scars, and the tips of their fingers are as rough as sand paper.

By day they are as a wraiths. Sun becomes their bane and their movements become slow and lethargic. Yet as the moon rises, so do these wraiths. The blood goes from their eyes - their vision cleared for their task ahead. Their hands heal and their fingers become soft, subtle, and quick.

Then it begins.

A painters tale, by Asmodai dark

First off, don't be confused by the title of this little series. This isn't poetry or a fictional story. This is the tale of little old me going blind in order to create a masterpiece.

Let me explain.

For about fifteen years now this humble writer has painted and war-gamed. Now hopefully most of you have a vague idea of what that is, but for those of you that don't... erm... Ask Jeeves or some other such chap.

Basically it consists of one army smacking into another. When two connect, dice are rolled in order to determine whether one person gets killed, or another blasts his enemy with a huge ball of fire. This is more clear on the guide entry on Warhammer Fantasy.

Anyway, whilst I've been playing fairly consistently1, I had never focused on painting till about two years ago. Due to a regular influx of cash, I was able to build a proper army, and have more things to paint.

So now my focus has shifted nearly totally on to painting and I'm darn good at it. Good enough to enter golden daemon.

What is Golden Daemon?

Well simply put it's where the best painters of Warhammer miniatures venture to test their skills against one another. Some venture for the first time, others veterans of many. Yet all aspire for a prize of a bronze, silver, or gold trophy. Once they win that, however, they then aspire for the ultimate prize.

The top prize, awarded to the best of the 11 gold trophy winners, is the Slayer Sword. The sword is fairly plain, with the winners name on one side and 'Golden Daemon (insert year here)' on the other. From what I can remember of last year's blade it's a good four-foot long, and is worth an estimated £10,000.

That's all well and good, but what's all this about?

Well depending on the ever changing tables of life, this series of articles will follow the run up to the event where Golden Daemon takes place. Games Day 2004 takes place in October, leaving me two months.

After two years of spending the hours of midnight and... Well whenever my mum complains or the sun comes up, painting solid - I've decided to go for it.

Now let's be clear I don't expect to win anything. The entrants are just stunningly intricate works of art beyond the skill of mere mortals such as my good self, yet if I can get past the first cull then I'll be happy with my little self.

Also, I'm not entirely sure of what exactly I should write. I mean I could explain the mental struggle I trudge through, or I could describe in detail the painting techniques that I use, the compositions etc. The list is pretty endless. But suffice to say I'll happily ramble on and, if you want any specific details, drop a line here and I'll be sure to mention it.

First off lets go through the categories and sees what we can do.

  • Category 1: Warhammer 40,0002 single miniature - Just one model. No funny business here
  • Category 2: Warhammer 40,000 squad - A group of between three to ten models forming either a gang or a squad.
  • Category 3: Warhammer 40,000 Vehicle - Pretty self-explanatory, just one single vehicle.
  • Category 4: Warhammer 40,000 monster - A nice big monster from the future. Usual entrants are large bug eyed monsters.
  • Category 5: Warhammer Fantasy3 single miniature - As category one.
  • Category 6: Warhammer Fantasy Regiment - Again as category two, except the unit must be between five and fifteen (I'm not entirely sure on the maximum).
  • Category 7: Warhammer Fantasy Monster - Ogres, giants, trolls, and stuff with lots of legs. Any fantasy beastie you can think of.
  • Category 8: Diorama - This category is open to pretty much anything. Could be monks praying or could be a crashed vehicle or even a mighty battle. All mounted on a 30cm³ base4
  • Category 9: Duel- well you can guess this one I bet, but for those that can't, it's basically two models fighting.
  • Category 10: Large-scale model - Models from the Inquisitor range (Warhammer 40,000 but about three times the size) and other bits and bobs that are just too big for the other categories.
  • Category 11: Lord of the Rings film scene - This category hasn't been properly defined yet by the event organisers. I'll get back with details.
  • The open competition - Absolutely anything you want. Single miniature, a hundred miniatures, a bust, anything. This is arguably the hardest as it can be entered by the staff as well...

There you have it. Out of 12 different categories I'm entering 3, 5, 6, and 7 so far. I am also considering entering the duel category, but I'm not sure yet.

Category 3: Warhammer 40,000 vehicle

The Manga robot has arrived and I am currently seeking inspiration. If anyone has any bright pictures of fighting robots a la Gundam (preferably white, vibrant yellow and blues) please post a link here for me.

Here is a picture.

Category 5: Warhammer single miniature

I haven't fully decided what I'll enter, so I'll leave this to be pondered. It will easily be the hardest category for me to enter, but it might be worth a shot.

Category 6: Warhammer regiment

I had decided on this entry quite awhile back (well a week). I basically want to do a wandering knight who's out to rid the world of evildoers. To help him, he's dragged along some of the peasants from the local neighbourhoods as well as some of his men at arms.

I'm currently thinking of either a single knight surrounded by eight or nine peasants, or three knights with a squire or two each – allowing me to explore several colour schemes.

However, to keep consistency I'm considering just the single mounted knight. This will allow me to focus all my attention on him and use that to base the peasants around.

To do this, I will use the wonderful Bretonnian models, which have a very classical Arthurian look. Have a look around the main page for various things of interest on the Games Workshops site.

Category 7: Warhammer Monster

Mwahaha this is the one where I'll be able to fully explore the evil side of painting that I love so much. This one is the grim reaper with bat wings affair, but as it'll cost me a few bob I may put him on hold.

Several parts are arriving tomorrow (allegedly) and I can order the rest next week. I am not giving you any hints or links for this one yet. I'm waiting until I have the finished thing.

Well that's it. There's plenty to be cracking on with and I've got enough time to do it. Later I'll be creating a site so that you can all observe the wondrous hunchback at work on his diabolical creations!

The Ramblings of a Hunchback Archive

Asmodai dark

05.08.04 Front Page

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1And winning, as Psycorp can tell you. 2The sci-fi one. Lots of guns and aliens.3Swords and Sorcery.4This effectively becomes like a screen shot from a film. The base acts as a 3-D set for its actors to play around on.

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